:: WHY WE BE ::

Boo to false, self-imposed limits, we say. These champion oracles want to live enthusiastically. Follow our trip through projects that challenge, frustrate, and/or scare us. In the end (which is really the middle) we want to live like big bright free and authentically awesome people.

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Wednesday, April 6, 2011

COFFEE Project Post Eleven: The Happy (Tawni)

I'm full of it.

Full of happiness, that is.

The last time I wrote for the COFFEE Project, I was feeling terrible. I was so nauseated every day that I could barely eat anymore, and spent most days tired and in pain.

The nausea and exhaustion had been gradually increasing over the last few years. After many doctor visits, assorted blood tests and bizarre health problems, one issue finally led to an ultrasound, and we found something that might be to blame for my troubles.

The good news: I wasn't crazy. It wasn't in my head.

The bad news: only surgery could remedy the situation.

As I wrote, I was dreading the surgery that was scheduled in a few days, morbidly wondering if I'd wake up from anesthesia, and pessimistically wondering if the surgery would even help. I'd felt so bad for years that feeling normal had become unimaginable. As I whining-ly wrote in that post, I was really just praying to maybe feel not bad every day. I didn't dare hope for feeling good.

I woke up from the surgery elated to have made it through alive. Warned that I might cry or vomit after anesthesia, I instead felt nothing but relief and joy. It was over, I woke up, and for the first time in longer than I could remember, I didn't feel like throwing up. In fact, I didn't feel sick at all! The loss of my constant nausea was like waking up from a years-long nightmare. The horrible stomach flu feeling that had hung miserably around my neck like a rancid albatross was gone, and I couldn't believe it. Hospital personnel were treating me like I was a bit off for acting so chipper, giving me strange looks, calling me "Sunshine" and commenting on my cheerful attitude during my stay. I was just so appreciative. I still can't believe that I can eat again - that food actually smells good and sounds appealing again. It's a miracle.

On top of the immediate success of the surgery, I have amazed my doctor with a freakishly fast recovery. He warned me it would be a 6-8 week recovery period, most likely 8 weeks, and I blew him away with my progress at my 2 weeks post-surgery check up. I am not quite 4 weeks post-surgery right now, and I'm driving, walking around normally, and nearly back to normal. I'm still having a bit of pain at the site of my 5-inch-long abdominal incision, but it's nothing compared to the pain I was in before the surgery, and the nausea is gone. My perspective is firmly in place and I am doing wonderfully. No complaints at all.

Before the surgery, I convinced my husband to join me in purchasing a juicer, and we bought the easy-to-clean Breville Fountain Elite. I was trying to find ways to make my recovery as fast and easy as possible, and I've wanted to try juicing forever. I decided that I would use the power of fruits, vegetables and vitamins to heal myself and for continued good health into the future. I never want to go under the knife again in this lifetime if I can help it.

We love our juicer, and have used it every single day since we bought it a month ago. My son and I have a special love for apple, carrot, spinach, and orange juice, and my husband really likes his pineapple, grapefruit, orange and kale blend. We have also juiced beets, mangoes, cucumbers, tomatoes, plums, and pears, and I want to try sweet potato juice as well. My goal is to slowly add more kale and spinach to my favorite juice until I am drinking a super green blend every day.

I am also trying to eat more raw fruits and vegetables than ever before. I'm trying to gradually increase them in my diet so I don't detoxify too quickly, because this can cause bad health effects. I already don't eat much dairy, don't really like meat, and eat a green, leafy salad every day, so my diet is pretty healthy. I just want to take it a step further. I never want to take my precious health for granted. It's just so darned awesome to feel good again.

Now that I am putting the health crisis behind me, I'm really excited to start focusing on my original COFFEE goals of writing more often, and working on ignoring my insecure, lazy inner chicken-sloth who whispers things like, "You're not good enough," and, "Let's go watch recorded crap shows on television instead of writing," in my ear during moments of weakness. SHUT IT, insecure, lazy inner chicken-sloth. You are not welcome here!

Next week, I'm going back to my writing schedule of working on blogs or my novel every day, from 11-2. I am going to allow myself a nap if I need it, because my body is still recovering from the removal of multiple organs, and I am still healing. If I feel tired enough to sleep, that's a sign that I need it, and I'm listening to my body. But hopefully I'll get back into the usual swing of things in no time.

Last week, I wrote a piece for The Nervous Breakdown. My goal was to write a piece for that website once a month, and the surgery set that goal back by 2 weeks, but I'm back on track now. You can read it (and comment on it there) if you'd like... here: http://www.thenervousbreakdown.com/tfreeland/2011/03/best-actress/

Happy spring, happy health, and happy everything, everybody!


John said...

Hooray for modern medicine that works! So glad to hear you are feeling better. Now write, oh healty one! What's the novel about? or is that a secret? Do you want a test reader? I'm always up for reading new stuff!
Enjoy the new you, and let us know how the juicing works out. Happy for your health!

patresa said...

Tawni, this is fantastic news. Fantastic! I'm so happy for you and I'm so happy for your family. And with this heightened appreciation for health and juicing, I can only guess you are going to become bionic. You already have superhuman healing powers. When is your birthday? I will send you a cape!

Truly, what wonderful news! Welcome back, Tawni!

Wendy said...

Tawni, your chicken-sloth doesn't have a prayer. I'm sooooo glad to hear that you are feeling not just better, not just 'in recovery' but GOOD! Nothing like feeling like crap to make you realize how good GOOD feels.


amy said...

Woo! Tawni! SO glad you're feeling like a regular person again and are healing at superwoman rate! Awesomeness.

I have a friend, Lisa, who likes things that taste like dirt. Put a chocolate chip cookie in front of her and she's not interested. But a radish? She can't control herself. I really admire people who love vegetables. Just reading about the juicing of them makes me want to run out and get a juicer myself. Now if I could just convince my little munchkin that (liquid or solid) spinach is a *good* thing :-).

And onward, great writer! I predict great blogs and much talented other writings from your happy brain and fingers.

Tanner May (Tanya) said...

Hooray to you, Miss Tawni!!! I am so stoked to hear (read) you are on the upswing to healthy status. This is simply WONDERFUL! Here's to sharing of some serious Tawni Talent! :) :)

Katie said...

Oh Tawni, this is such, such wonderful news!!! I am so happy for you and your loved ones, who I'm sure are thrilled to have *all* of you back. What a great thing, I just couldn't be more excited for you!!

And the juicer - hmmmm... well, I can only agree with Patresa's take that very soon you will develop a soft green glow and be able to leap tall buildings in a single bound. And maybe wear tiny spandex suits in the colors of the American flag with your magic bracelets and enjoy supernatural powers with a lasso. It'll be great!! Career day will be awesome!!

Regardless, I am impressed not only by your renewed zest for zesty life, but also your committment to all things green.

Go go Gadget Juicer!!! AWAYYYYYYY!!!!