:: WHY WE BE ::
Monday, January 31, 2011
It will post Monday morning.
Then it will be Tuesday.
And then Wednesday.
Then it will be Thursday, and I will play music in front of live human beings at an open mic.
THURSDAY. This Thursday!
I played my 4-song set for Chris. It was just fine. I wasn't nervous or self-conscious. Tonight my parents and aunt came over for dinner, and I played them 2 songs. It was…okay. I wasn't nervous, but I felt shy and stupid--like I was 8 and practicing my recital pieces after Sunday pot roast. So I didn't play or sing very well.
But it was a good step. My dad brought up my teenage niece who got a guitar for Christmas and has been learning. She's very talented, but is too shy to play in front of others. When it comes to my nieces (and my nephew, but in a different way), I've always felt a responsibility to be a good model for "strong in self." (They already have wonderful models. It's just: I'm the aunt, and I don't have any kids, and I'm kind of weird, so they see me a little differently.). I want them to be bold and unafraid, to speak up. I want them to sing when they feel like singing, dance when they feel like dancing, strum when they feel like strumming, be exactly who they are at all times, and do it with a free spirit. I want the same for Chris's and my kids, if we are to have any. I can't say one thing and then do another (although I've certainly made a lifetime of trying). So to a certain extent, this project for me has been about fixing the thing that keeps me from being what I keep telling other people I want them to be.
[How's that for a sentence?]
Last note: I will be endeavoring while sober. I overindulged several weeks over the holidays and into January, so i've been purifying my system. I'm on a "cleanse" trend. Initially, I thought, "Well, I'll make an exception for open mic night." But then I decided it would add extra triumph if I just did it stone cold sober (The bartender will be thrilled.). Why use liquid courage if you can just scrounge up the real stuff?
Of course, when you are 36, married, and not drinking, people tend to think you're pregnant. I will make a special t-shirt for the occasion. VACANCY over my abdomen.
So, that's what I got. My next post will be a full report, with possible video, of how it went. It will hopefully not include any barfing.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Physical health: Check. Between good luck, good genes, hard work and exercise, I’m very fortunate to be healthy.
Physical environment: Check. I own a cute little bungalow and it’s full of fluffy white Charlie hair. Despite the lack of an ocean, Des Moines is a pretty nice place and has grown on me over the years.
Career: Check. Despite my best efforts to not know what I want to be when I grow up, my experiences over the last 20 years have combined nicely and led me to a field and a job that is a pretty good fit for me. And I was recently accepted to the DNP program at Iowa so my next goal of becoming a nurse practitioner is in the works.
Financial: Check. I feel pretty secure in this area. Would like to spend more money on travel and less on student loans, but that’s OK, I can deal.
Community/Social/Recreation: I have many acquaintances and any number of people I can call to go on a bike ride or grab a beer or a glass of wine. But I seem to be getting less out of those activities than I used to. Which leads me to another common theme, distraction. I'd like to find a little more meaning in my social outlets. Speaking of, I'm proud to be part of the COFFEE community.
Friends/Family: I need to do a little work here. I have a lot of wonderful people in my life, but I may have been pushing them away… not sure why… It's always been important to me to be a strong independent woman and rely on myself. I don’t like to need people. I don’t like to seem weak, so I don’t reach out to people when I feel weak. I also have this belief that if people are interested in what I think or feel or need they will ask. If they don't ask, they don't want to know. So I won't bother or burden them with my opinions, my thoughts, my stuff. So I wait for people to approach me, engage me. And if they don't, I think no one loves me and I'm all alone in the world. That makes me kind of grouchy and then people really don't want to be around me so I isolate and really do become all alone in the world. Vicious cycle.
Romance/Significant Other: Ugh. Why is this so hard? My past relationships have typically been distractions, fun little diversions from work and school and life, etc. But I haven’t really put the work into figuring out what I want and expressing it to a partner, or finding out what my partner wants either. Relationships are hard work, I know that. I’m finally ready to put that work in, but where are the hot, single, straight guys?!? I'm taking a much needed break from the online dating scene so am back to square 1.
Spirituality: Hmmm. My purpose, my calling, the meaning of life? I got nothing. It seems that many people live their lives for their children or their God. I have neither. As a 38-year-old agnostic women without a ticking biological clock, what is my purpose? I’ve never felt the need for either children or God and I’m trying to figure out what that means for me, if anything.
So, I’m about 50/50. There's a lot of positive in my life and I have to remember that. Lately I've been focusing on the empty half of the glass. That approach seems to throw into question/chaos all the good that is in my life. I've been second guessing my career and my decision to go back to school again and my decision to move back to Des Moines and everything else. So, I've got a lot of work to do. I have 4 very important categories that are sorely lacking. But I also have to keep it all in perspective. It's not necessary to scratch everything I have and start over. I'm half way there. And I love a challenge. And I love the COFFEE chicks.
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Thursday, January 27, 2011
After this realization smacked me upside the head, I stopped doing abdominal crunches with the hot lady on the television, and ran for one of my three organizers to confirm the date. Yes, there are three calendars in my house with "COFFEE post due today!" scribbled in them, and I still managed to forget. Be impressed.
I now find myself with ten minutes to write before I have to be on the road, en route to my son's school to pick him up, whence we will be going directly to the Urgent Care to see if his hurting ear is infected and needs antibiotics. It's a glamorous life I lead.
Luckily, I have a little bit of inner chicken-sloth butt-kicking to share with you, my friends.
I have been accepted to write for one of my favorite websites, The Nervous Breakdown. Cheer with me now! Woo-hoo! Yippee! Yay! I have been reading this website for years, and am a fan of most of the writers therein, so this is really huge for me.
This new development definitely qualifies as a success in my battle to stop being such an insecure baby about my written creative output, because writing for this awesome website is very much "putting it out there" in the way I had hoped to do.
It is so out there, in fact, that it took me a week after I finished writing the piece to actually get up the nerve to post it on the website. But I set yesterday as my target date, paced around the house, giving myself my "Life is short... stop being such a wuss" pep talk, and did it.
If you want to go read it, that would be great. If you want to leave a comment on the website, under my piece, it's really easy to do, and I would think that was great too. I'll pop the link on the end of this, down below.
I hope you're having a beautiful week, COFFEE warriors and friends!
The linky: http://www.thenervousbreakdown.com/tfreeland/2011/01/happy-naked-new-year/
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Thursday, January 20, 2011
In my last entry, I was going to kick butt first and take names later. Or something. I can't actually remember now--I just know I was shaking my fist at 2011, threatening it. So far, I think 2011 is not impressed or worried.
Since then, the big news is: we had snow here in Georgia. SNOW! And not just any snow: the perfect storm of snow. Things were shut down, cars were spun out, grocery stores were emptied of milk, bread, eggs, and (oddly) bananas and seafood, cabin fever caused major life wreckage. Not a shovel or grain of salt was left in the metro Atlanta area when all was said and done. After 12 years here, I've learned Georgians simply don't know how to handle stuff that falls out of the sky in mass quantities.
Which means I've done pretty much nada since my last update. Because the entire state owns, like, 10 snow plows. Which means when a perfect (snow)storm comes in they just wait for the sun to melt it until road conditions are passable again. Meanwhile, we all huddle in our homes like blind mole rats hiding from a snake, waiting for the perfect moment to make our escape.
It takes about 7-10 days for frozen precipitation to melt with zero human intervention, fyi.
Here is how I've put this time to good use:
-thought a lot about sending in my application for the the RunforWater 5k race.
-thought really hard about what it would feel like to go outside and walk around some.
-updated my facebook status, a lot.
-read other people's facebook status updates, a lot.
-loitered in unproductive areas of news blogs.
-posted a bunch of pictures to facebook.
-watched massive quantities of Dora the Explorer, Curious George, Go Diego Go!, and Yo Gabba Gabba.
-made Paula Deen's magical peanut butter cookies.
-ate all of Paula Deen's magical peanut butter cookies.
The end, part 1.
I did read one whole, pretty satisfying book (The Forgotten Garden by Kate Morton). I so rarely have time to just sit and READ. And I had time to surf the internet a lot, which led me to some pretty awesome places to hang out at. These are generally uplifting and full of informative information about good eats. Like Food 52, and Rachael Ray's website. And Paula Deen's. Did you know Paula Deen will actually let you save your favorite recipes to your pauladeen.com profile AND she will help you do your grocery shopping by creating whole grocery lists, based on recipes you think you might make that week? I would like Paula Deen to adopt me (coughand include me in her willcough).
Also, I signed up at My Fitness Pal, which is a facebook-like fitness place where you record your food/calories/work outs AND make new fitness friends. You get your very own facebook-ish page, and can leave your very own facebook-ish fitness status updates. And if you don't log in for 3 or more days, or well over a week? My Fitness Pal will status update for you, and your status update will say something like: "atlamy has not logged in for over a week. She may need some encouragement."
I've already made 2 new fitness friends over there--one lady who agreed with an assertion I made in my profile bio that everyone should have a free laundry doer/folder/putter awayer in their house, and one lady who didn't say why, but my guess is she saw I needed some encouragement and that was her way. Blessings to you, mysterious fitness pal lady.
Oh, and I started (yet another) blog. It's over HERE. It has nothing to do with anything, but I needed something to do with my mind and hands last week. I really should learn how to knit.
Up for the next couple of weeks:
1-Get out of the house and do something (for the love of all that's holy, ANYTHING) physical.
2-Write Paula Deen. Ask to be adopted.
3-Update my fitness pal account. Send fitness pal love and encouragement to my 2 new fitness pals.
4-Avoid the vending machine at work. It's of the devil.
The End, part 2.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
So anyway, without my running friend and therapist, I have been a little off my roller chair and have merged hallways illegally over to the cranky-dark-gloomy-feel-sorry-for-myself side of the building….a tad anyway. What am I supposed to do, Oprah?!! I’ve been trying to keep my chin up, smile nicely, obsess as minimally as possible and not freak out that my running muscles are withering away as fast as I type this (which with all due respect to myself, I should mention I am a killer fast typist), and after weeks of sharp pain, and even a few weeks of absolutely no running and only walking, I bought a (stupid) knee brace. I first walked with this (stupid) knee brace, and I thought, “Hey, ok, I think the knee brace engineer people know a little bit what they’re doing,” and the next day, I began running. I ran 4 slow miles, and I WAS FLIPPING ELATED (insert more music and jumping cheerleaders doing multiple aerials)!! I cannot express just how my mood sprung high, the birds began chirping, the weather actually warmed up (briefly), and I felt on top of the World of Nice again, and I’ve ran 4 slow miles each day since that glorious moment a few days ago…. with my (stupid) knee brace. However, as I type this, my knee is throbbing, and I have visions of punching this computer screen to oblivion, as well as thoughts of maybe even yelling at a stranger if they dare look at me with any pity in response to my notable limp and pseudo working knee (insert Dracula or The Shining music here). Of course, I won’t do any of that, and I won’t even cry despite really wanting to throw a tantrum right-this-very-second.
I know this knee injury will heal. I know what to do. I’ve been down this slow road before, and I know it’s going to take a few months, not weeks. I actually did buy a Jillian Michaels yoga DVD this weekend, and I think I may even do it. I have several yoga DVDs that I actually quite love despite not spending any face to face time with them in the past year(s), but I thought I needed a serious kick booty new DVD to get me motivated and distracted from my good friend and therapist, Running. I know we need a break, some relationships just do sometimes. In the process, I’m also hopeful that my legs and butt won’t turn to mush, which of course in my brain they’ve already done to some degree (and maybe I already had mush, but so not the point). I also swear the whole thing makes me shorter, for reals shorter, not to mention my weak arms. I seriously soooo had Welcome to the Gunshow for arms before this injury (wink wink), totally. So basically, I just need to complain and grieve my injury right now, and I am using this forum to do this very silly shallow job. (Am I supposed to be focusing on some goals or something??) It is also providing me with some nice self indulgent therapy, thank you COFFEEs. BUT, I proclaim, I will wear my BRace during anything resembling a work out, try not to run, and stop being so stupid.
Identified goals are good one way or another….. and relationships are very hard.
Tangy T-Bop Walker
Pseudo Athlete Extraordinaire Who WILL Race Again, BRace or No Brace
Monday, January 17, 2011
Thursday, January 13, 2011
My son has been healthy, and he’s back in school 9:00-2:30 every weekday, so I have resumed writing quite often. I’ve been rotating the fun, no pressure, minimal editing blog I started (Literary Lampshade) with working on my novel idea in the less intimidating chapter-at-a-time format.
I have also been doing what I somewhat self-deprecatingly call "Dear Diary blogging" for my personal site (My Shiny Hell). That’s when I take an hour to sit down and write about my latest happenings or thoughts. Whatever’s been floating around in the old spine-flower. I have noticed that I will re-write my thoughts in a constant loop in my head until I get them out of there, so having the unprofessional personal blog is really helpful. I’m sure it serves the same function as journaling, except that it’s online and everyone can see it and judge me, which is a teensy weensy bit horrifying. But that writer insecurity is exactly what I’m trying to stop worrying about, so too bad for me. Suck it up, Freebird. Get over it. Stop being such a wimp.
As a former psychology/English major, I would love to explore the psychology of my neuroses here, but I don’t even know where to start. After college, I spent twelve years of my young adulthood singing and playing guitar onstage in bands, yet I am terrible at public speaking, and pit-sweat thinking about people reading my written creative output. Why don’t I care at all what people think about my songs, but care too much what they think about my writing? I don’t get it. Perplexing, yes?
It’s really frustrating, but I am a determined, ridiculously stubborn, steel-willed redhead, and this self-aggression will not stand, man. The point to this COFFEE Project exercise is to face fears, and I will continue to face this one until I no longer care what anyone thinks of my writing, or at least until I believe in it, which is what I think it really comes down to. And I know I just ended that sentence with “to,” but “is all to which I think it really comes down” sounds odd, like I’m having a stroke mid-sentence or something.
I also created a storyboard for the book I’m writing.
(An aside: Can I just say how very much I loathe saying out loud that I’m writing a book? Everyone and their grandma claims to be writing a book. I feel like such a dirty cliché. Maybe it’s just the insecurity talking? I don’t know. I always promised myself I wouldn’t say it out loud until the book was finished and ready to be shopped, and yet here I am. Talking about writing a book mid-book. Ugh.)
My husband, the former Hollywood boy, recommended the storyboard because his screenwriter pals would do this. It’s a cork board onto which note cards can be tacked with notes about the book, such as what will occur, or character descriptions. I can move them around to help myself remember the direction the story is headed. I have the storyboard color-coded so that the bright pink cards are storyline ideas and the yellow cards are character notes, because organization is a huge turn-on for me. I’ve broken the cards up into chapters, which I’m trying to approach as little blogs or short stories about the same person’s life, so I don’t spook the nervous wild mustang of my confidence that shies away from the pretentiously spooky word book.
My goal is to slowly write the chapters, and pretend that I’m just writing blogs, as I have always done. Once I have 80-90,000 words worth of writings, I will lasso them all together and throw a saddle on the back of what I hope will be a somewhat linear novel. Yes, I’m tricking myself, so, shhh… don’t tell me what’s really going on here. Just feed me cubes of sugar, and talk to me in quiet, soothing tones.
I realized that I completely wussed out in my last blog, because I mentioned starting the minimal-editing blog, but didn’t give a link to it. That was me letting the inner chicken-sloth win, so I’m going to give it a big kick in the ass today and post the link to that one here now.
Please enjoy the first things that come into my mind and are crapped out via keyboard when I see certain pictures:
Literary Lampshade: http://literarylampshade.blogspot.com/
So far, I'm mildly disturbed to notice that almost all of my off-the-top-of-my-head posts involve conflict and unhappiness within relationships, be they fictional or drawn from my actual experiences. I'm shit-house psychoanalyzing this as, "Guess what, Tawni? You have trust issues! Duh." But I'm hoping it will stop soon, so I can finally pursue my lifelong dream of writing about fluffy kittens, unicorns and rainbows.
I will also repent for the sin of letting my insecurities win by additionally posting my personal blog address.
Please enjoy the enthralling and glamorous minutiae of my daily existence:
My Shiny Hell: http://myshinyhell.blogspot.com/
It scares me a lot to do this. I usually have a link to my personal blog sitting unobtrusively on my Facebook page, but never advertise my latest-written things out of fear. Fear of being an attention-starved “Look at me!” person. Which is really dumb, considering my 8000 Facebook photos. Obviously, somebody needs attention. ("Do you love me NOW, Daddy? NOW? How about NOW?!”)
I blame the people in the world of music that I called the “Come see my band!” people. These were folks that constantly hounded me to come see their shows, guilt tripping and whining when I missed one, and just generally being shameless and obnoxious about promoting themselves. I never did this because I always felt like people would come see my band if they wanted to come see my band. If you have to beg for a compliment, is it really a compliment?
So I am terrified to be a “Come see my band!” person in regards to my writing. But the silly thing about this is that when I see the blogs of my friends advertised to me in an email, blog comment forum, or Facebook Feed, I am nothing but excited to read their thoughts. I never think they are being pushy, and only admire them for having the balls to put it out there. So I don’t know why I’m overly concerned with humility. I don’t want to bother people with my creativity, but I don’t feel bothered when other people share theirs with me. Not at all. Quite the opposite. I eat it up. Delicious, delicious creativity.
I think my goal in the next few weeks will be to try to remember that people aren’t judging me as harshly as I imagine. And I need to learn to turn the same gentle eyes through which I see others on myself. I am so hard on this girl. Seriously. I’m very mean to myself. I deserve better. I wish I knew how to quit me.
In college, I spent a few semesters thinking I wanted to teach English to high school kids, and was required to do a student teaching block. I asked to be placed with my favorite English teacher from high school, who kindly accepted me.
One of the most shocking things she shared with me was the realization that I had never given myself enough credit for being good at writing. She showed me papers written by the kids we were teaching, and while there were a few that stood out, many were atrocious. She said that before she taught English, when she was a student, she thought she was average. It wasn’t until she became a teacher that she realized she was above average. I told her I thought I was average as well. She said, “You never realized how good you were because you couldn’t see the others. You assumed you were average, but you were one of the best students I’ve ever had.”
That always stayed with me. I think the lesson there is not to arrogantly decide that everyone else is not as good as you; the lesson is to remember that you can be good at things. You don’t always have to humbly assume that you are average in every way; instead assume you are above average in many ways. Give yourself credit. Everybody has strengths and weaknesses, and it’s okay to acknowledge the things you do well.
I'm allowed to feel good about myself. I'm allowed. I'm enough.
Recognition that the universe is not smiting me for trying to be more confident.
More deep breaths.
I hope you have a wonderful week full of faced-down fears, my friends.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
So I'm entering 2011 feeling physically strong. I swam the 100 100s New Year's Eve Day and I've been going to Kosama at 6:00 AM each morning since Jan 3. The early rising thing is no small feat, by the way. And I'm happy to report that it hasn't been nearly as hard as I thought it would be. The abdominal work, on the other hand, is just as hard as I thought it would be.
So physically strong, yes. Emotionally, spiritually, creatively strong? Not so much. As a matter of fact, I feel downright weak, like a wet noodle who can't stand herself up, like I don't belong anywhere near the rest of you coffee chicks. I'm instant coffee in a tattered-edge, faded packet that's been in the back of the junk drawer for who knows many how years. And then there's the rest of you... rich, dark, brown, freshly roasted, and aromatic whole coffee beans. I feel utterly intimidated by all your skills and insight and positive energy. Lately I've spewed way more than my share of negativity into the universe. So I've been avoiding you. I blew off my last two posts and I seriously thought about bailing on this whole project.
But here I am posting, albeit over 12 hours late. And instead of listing all the things I'm going to do and then feeling like a failure when I don't do them, I am going into this again with no expectations. My scary project is just doing this, just showing up. Here I am. I think it'll go better for me without the self-imposed pressure I've been self-imposing.
As the unorganized person that I am, following is how I make lists. And this is how I will now approach my COFFEE goals:
- I write down a bunch of things I've already completed
- I add a few things I still need to do.
- I cross off the stuff I've already done, look at my list, think "that's pretty productive" and never look at that particular list again.
- Some days, weeks, months, later, I'll make a new list.
- I've probably accomplished a few of the things that were not crossed off on previous list so I'll write them down on the new list.
- Then I'll cross them off.
- I add the rest of the un-crossed-off things from the previous list.
- I continue to procrastinate the above.
- Rinse and repeat.
Stick with me coffee chicks. Don't give up on me just yet. I hope to eventually make it worth your while.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Thursday, January 6, 2011
In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay invincible summer. --Albert Camus
-List-making is an issue for me.
-I apologize profusely for littering this blog entry with them so wildly.
-If I were a resolution maker, I would vow to rectify this in 2011.
-But I am not, so...
(of this blog's first list)
--Amy, COFFEE blogger
I usually don’t do New Year’s resolutions—I like anti-resolutions. For example:
*I do NOT resolve to wake up early any Saturday in 2011.
*I do NOT resolve to not eat at least a little chocolate if it is ever presented to me at any point throughout Anno Domini 2011.
*I do NOT resolve to repress my need to silently cuss out other drivers who are clearly crazy and should never have been granted permission to operate a 5 ton machine of metal death in the first place, what the heck was the DMV thinking?!.
You know. Things like that, stuff I know I can manage with little to no effort on my part.
But I’m going to revolt this year, and attack 2011 a tad different—I’m making New Year’s reVolutions. Because things did not get off to a good start for us for 2011 at my house, friends. I can’t go into more explanation than that at the moment, but just know: 2011 did not get off to a good start. For one thing, 1.1.11 was a dreary, dark, and rainy day in the metro Atlanta area, and I generally disagree with dreary and dark rainy days anyway, even if they do have a cool date that, when added up, comes out to the numerical value of 4, a very mystical number. This 1.1.11 (mystical number 4) rain was followed by some Discouraging News. Discouraging News and dreary, dark, rainy days never, ever go well together, in my experience. But also (and mostly), I just really like the idea of being a revolutionary. The very idea makes me feel plucky and outrageous, two areas I wish I were stronger in.
1.2.11 was better, and this may be due to the fact 1+2+1+1=5, and 5 is my number (I have no idea why; I just think good stuff happens to me in 5's). But also: the sun came out, and sun always clears out my brain fuzz. And because, while driving around the happier/sunnier metro Atlanta area, I silently and firmly made the decision to consciously make different decisions whenever confronted with more brain blasting news, at any point throughout 2011. I will say things to myself like:
...“Well, I’m just going to make the decision NOT to freak out about this.”
...And “I’ll just make the decision to put one foot in front of the other one and keep going, no matter what.”
...And “The amount we're being charged on this ridiculously priced bill isn’t real. I’m going to decide this bill is fake. Because the only thing that is real is love. When I write out the check for this stupid bill, I'm going to write that in the memo line instead of the account number, because people who send outrageous bills like this should know that: they are fake, and Love is real.”
...And “I’m making the decision to not let anything defeat me—I will kick Life right in its frickin’ gonads if it even tries to LOOK at me weird this year. Do you hear me, Life 2011 A.D.? Right in your frickin’ gonads!”
I am revolting against you, 2011! Revolution!
I try not to be very overly dramatic and intense with myself too often, but some days are simply more successful than others.
So! A brief update on my COFFEE goals since my last update and over our break:
i. I ate crap.
ii. I did not exercise.
iii. I was intensely slothful. Like, if actual sloths had witnessed my slothiness, they would have had developed severe self-esteem complexes, wondering how someone who is not an actual sloth could be so much better at being a sloth than actual sloths who have documented biological drives toward extreme slothiness.
iv. I’m okay with all of the above.
Because it’s January, everybody! It’s 2011! And—if the Mayans were correct—we only have about one more year of Life giving us weird looks and fun opportunities to kick Its gonads! So be free and throw off your yokes of fear and restraint! Is what I say. Revolt, and do not pause to consider what judgments others may be flinging your way in the process; all they need to worry about is ducking fast enough so your flung off yokes don't smack them on their stupid, judge-y heads.
So my big January reVolution this year is to simplify. I will throw off my fear/self-restraint yokes by simplifying. Most everything. I don’t know if you’ve noticed yet or not, but conciseness is not my forte. However, I know I can simplify everything that does not involve writing down words/thoughts/ideas. Essentially what I need around here is some equanimity—less drama, more acceptance; less complicity, more revolution. So over the next several weeks, I will be:
1-focusing on not panicking when things appear to be off track.
2-not relaxing when things appear to be going smoothly.
3-cultivating awareness and presence.
4-not focusing so hard on the outcome.
5-paying more attention to the process.
6a-developing more sympathy for myself and others
6b-unless, of course, these “others” are clearly psychotic people in cars sharing the roads with me who obviously cheated their way into possession of a driver’s license, and then I will be happily perfecting my inner, repressed road rage angry person impression.
(Except for reVolution 6b, I actually did not come up with these myself—I completely ripped them off from this guy):
Also, I’ve picked a 5K to run/train for. If I have a specific, must-do-this-by-this-date-and-in-this-time-frame goal, I’m much more likely to complete it. And I know if I spend money to enter this race (money: something we’re keeping a hot, close eye on these days at my house and not spending flippantly), I’m much more likely to complete it. When researching a 5/10K run to complete/train for, I wanted to do something that is good for the world (I’ve settled on helping to provide clean, safe drinking water to those without access) and I needed a Spring/early Summer date (April 30) because I’m a wimp who doesn’t do Arctic cold or Sub-tropic heat, and I'm also host to a whiny inner slacker who's already wimpering that she needs lots of extra time padding in her training schedule in case she may want to slack off a week here and there.
So. Goals for my COFFEE project over the next several weeks:
IV. Register for WaterfortheWorld Run
VI. Not necessarily in that order.
Happy New Year, everyone! May 2011 bring glad tidings of great joy (and successful revolutions)!
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Coming to terms with the fact that he decided to retire was not easy for Papa Cecil, especially leading up to R-Day. Since I first met my dad the day I was born, the man has worked ridiculously long hours intuitively. He has defined much of his life by hard work. I actually once worked for Papa Cecil (I cleaned up logos on the computer, and it was super duper awesomely fun), and he was the single best supervisor of my life. He would also let me off work on a moment's notice.... to be fair, I think I should also disclose this. I'm also pretty certain he paid me more than I was worthy.