:: WHY WE BE ::

Boo to false, self-imposed limits, we say. These champion oracles want to live enthusiastically. Follow our trip through projects that challenge, frustrate, and/or scare us. In the end (which is really the middle) we want to live like big bright free and authentically awesome people.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

The Brutality of the Dice (Holly)

Tonight the decision dice are really pissing me off.  I realize that it’s highly suspect to make decisions based off of what the decision dice say…..but, I’m telling you, they’re so on target so often when I do it, that it’s hard not to put a little faith in them.  Because of this respect that I’ve developed for the decision dice, I don’t bother them too often.  Only when I really want an idea on how something might turn out.  I guess we could also call them fortune telling dice as you’re allowed to ask questions about the future.  One method allows for vague questions like, “What will happen with my love life in the next 3 months” or, “how’s it going to go with me, the Artist’s Way, and the blog”….stuff like that.  So, I got answers tonight that I did not expect!!  And, they weren’t really what I wanted to hear.   One result of the brutal honesty of the dice, I have decided that I cannot do the Artist’s Way as my COFFEE project.  I still want to do the blog, but I think that the project that I’m really supposed to do is to clean and organize my life.  Cleanse. Deep and thorough cleanse.  I mentioned the importance of this project at some point last year in a COFFEE blog.
I fully intended for this first blog to be about what I learned from last year’s blogging COFFEE experience and why I didn’t end up finishing the whole Artist’s Way course.  But…..I just can’t bring myself to do it.  Turns out it has to do with this clearing, cleansing, purging thing…..as many of you COFFEE alum may recall, I learned a lot about listening to the universe and being open to the many serendipitous events that it presents to me.  Well, that’s what is happening now and all roadsigns lead to a major cleanse as top priority.  I’ve been stuffing it for years. No pun intended.  I have no excuses anymore. 
Here’s what the Artist’s Way has to say on this topic:….(and I highlighted the crap out of it last year)
By tossing out the old and unworkable, we make way for the new and suitable.  A closet stuffed with ratty old clothes does not invite new ones.  A house overflowing with odds and ends and tidbits you’ve held on to for someday has no space for the things that might truly enhance today.
When the search-and-discard impulse seizes you, two crosscurrents are at work: the old you is leaving and grieving, while the new you celebrates and grows strong. As with any rupture, there is both tension and relief.  Long-seated depression breaks up like an ice floe.  Long-frozen feelings thaw, melt, cascade, flood, and often overrun their container (you).  You may find yourself feeling volatile and changeable. You are.
Be prepared for bursts of tears and laughter. A certain giddiness may accompany sudden stabs of loss. Think of yourself as an accident victim walking away from the crash: your old life has crashed and burned; your new life isn’t apparent yet.  You may feel yourself to be temporarily without a vehicle. Just keep walking.
This is just a bit of what I'm up against!
I am excited and terrified all at once by this choice that I’ve made.  That last paragraph from Artist’s Way certainly resonates with me….old life crash and burn and what is the new life?
My goal is by the next time I write, in two weeks, I will at least have a schedule and plan of attack for a major home and life cleansing!
Oh, and btw....it's good to be back, COFFEE MATES.