:: WHY WE BE ::

Boo to false, self-imposed limits, we say. These champion oracles want to live enthusiastically. Follow our trip through projects that challenge, frustrate, and/or scare us. In the end (which is really the middle) we want to live like big bright free and authentically awesome people.

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Friday, May 6, 2011

I wont be a turd if I can help it..... (Tanya)

I have had a wild busy few months. That will be my excuse for a short and hopefully sweet post (really, turds are rarely mentioned). I've had incredibly wonderful things going on professionally and most especially personally. I've also had some challenging zingers that have taken me to the mat, rolled me over, and nearly pinned me me flat with complications of wrestler's ear.

I went back and looked at some of my initial goals. I really had no idea what to write about so I thought, hey, check out those goals.... what were those again?? I have A LOT (I mean A ---- LOT) of work to do, but my goal #5 is what I'm going to ruminate on with the COFFEEs right now. Goal #5 is "I am going to put myself in more time-outs before I speak when I'm mad, terse, or believe that I was just insulted or slighted, and I will take this time to GENUINELY (yes, genuinely was all caps) consider if that person has a point and if I am the above turd." ["Turd" was cited from Goal #4 fyi.]

So Goal #5 has really come in handy in moments I've encountered recently when my initial gut feeling and seeing red moment had me wanting to lash out in some wild haired Donald Trump-esque one liner rip on a person. But... I have not done any of that. I have held my tongue (the same tongue that really only had the want of a fascinating and genius comeback but really, no substance behind the want), and instead I've taken heed to my Goal #5, taken some very deep reaching breaths, and held true to the mission of COFFEE growth. Of course, along the way, some of my dear friends have had to hear me vent, which I cannot promise I will ever stop doing (SUCKERS! Ha Friends!), but I have at least delivered a true college effort not to go overboard with any of it. I am trying hard to find meaning to these moments and to find ways to move forward with more dignity despite the absurdity of any situation.

So, there you have it. I am still growing, and growing hurts a ---- lot sometimes. I will, however, continue to grow, foster some good COFFEE beans, and really make me proud of me. Just maybe I will be more successful than not in turning my bad reactive thoughts someplace closer to reasonable. When I encounter absurd moments (or maybe even absurd people), I will try my best to avoid tripping into the pit and continue to breathe... a lot. I will also drink some red wine. That is never a bad plan too. ;) (Sorry, Patresa, I meant "drunk juice.")

Cheers COFFEEs. Happy Cinco de Mayo and all the other wonderful May holidays and special events! On May 6th (when I post this), Happy International No Diet Day, and of course on May 19th (my birthday), Happy Circus Day! Woo!


patresa said...

Well, hats off to you and goal #5. HATS OFF. (i've been struggling with that one, professionally, myself.) When the ego gets a zing, it's hard to be reflective, isn't it? Why are egos so LOUD?

One of my favorite things about you is that you really try to live exactly the way you want other people to live and probably the way you encourage your clients to live. I like that kind of alignment. It makes you a powerful person.

So does the drunk juice.

Steph said...

Ah, Tangy... so happy for you- professionally and personally. :) SO HAPPY FOR YOU. wink, wink... GRIN!
I am so on board with Goal #5. In fact, I think it oughta be a mandate that for one day, we all practice Goal #5. Can you imagine what that day would be like??? Wow, a good day, indeed. I'm sure it would be a great day to own stock in drunk juice, but it would also be a day to savor in terms of interactions with our fellow men & women! Huh.
I'm with P. I respect the heck out of you for trying to live your life the way it should be lived and the way that you try to teach your clients to do it. It's easy to preach it, but the practice part is so doggone hard. The world needs more practicers and less preachers, girl, and I'm glad you're both!
Much love to you, T-Money... COFFEE hugs and up-tops!

amy said...

Dear Tanya-tastic, I would have loved for you to have been in the car with me when the mean Relay for Life man honked his horn so long and loud and drove around like a crazy cuss in the fairground parking lot last Friday. Plus, I know I, for one, could use a good Tanya Goal #5 focus each day, but that man needed both of us to explain Goal #5 to him and point out all the reasons he needed it. I say this because I suspect you have never driven around like a crazy cuss in a parking lot, nearly mowing down innocent pedestrians, simply because some dork in an Altima didn't know which lane to turn into. I bet you're really, really nice--even when not exactly meeting Tanya Goal #5 for the day.

And that's what friends are there for--venting sessions (with and without drunk juice). Especially so you can lay all the "what I SHOULD have said" one-line Trump zingers on them. And they can go: "Yeah! You tell that....person!" and then they can lay their "what I SHOULD have said" Trump zingers on you. And so on and so forth. I think that's what good friends are there for--they tell you when you have spinach in your teeth, gently let you know if an outfit isn't working, celebrate your successes, hug you just because, and listen to your unspoken Trump zingers when you really need to get them off your chest. And they go out for tacos and quesadillas with you for Cinco de Mayo.

You just keep breathing. I think you're doing fine (and if you need to get any one-line Trump zingers off your chest in the future, you can lean on me...plus also, I may steal them for my own use later. ;-)

Tawni said...

Sorry so late to comment, T-Bop. I have been an unfocused spazz this month, hardcore. Like even more so than I usually am! But I find myself with a childless chunk of morning today and decided to catch up on my COFFEE commenting. Yahoo! :)

As P mentions above, I also love the way you always try to be a better person, and try to be the person you'd like others to be. I really try to remember to do this too. I have snarky, grumpy (read: bitchy) moments more often than I'd like to admit, and I don't like the dark path they seem to carry my personality down. I want to be a positive force in this world, not another Negative Nelly. Much respect to you, lady, for avoiding the pits and remembering to breathe.

And happy every day to you too! :) xoxo.