A Day Late and a Dollar Short (John)

I'm a day behind for my scheduled post.  Sorry about that. I was going to do it last night, but... well... read on.

Thus begins another round of project. My last goal was to replace the picture of me paddling a long time ago with a picture of me paddling more recently. But from January 18th to the end of August of this year, we've had adventures in health care. Diverticulitis for me, with associated hospital time. Dad's near death heart attack. Mom's circling of the drain before we got her to Mayo and got her considerably better. My daughter ingesting one of Mom's meds the day after Dad had his heart attack and getting a hospital stay of her own.  Needless to say, it was a bit much, and any time off we may have accrued to vacation was rapidly spent visiting hospitals. So paddling? Never happened.

I am extremely grateful that both of my parents survived this year. Thankful and grateful.

So the second round of project COFFEE I approach with some trepidation.  Goals? Drop 50 pounds and do an olympic length tri. Very doable. It will require some serious commitment, of course. But I can attain these goals. The trick is the nerves. I am filled with anxiety about what bombs life will drop on me as the new year of 2012 rolls in. My biggest obstacles in fact, are entirely mental.  Waiting for the shoe to drop.

But what can I do? Same as you. Fold it up and hide under the bed, or just suck it up and attack the project... no excuses.

I guess I'll choose to attack. That's what the Marine in me is calling for. In that spirit, I went for a swim last night, and didn't finish when I thought I would. I had planned on doing a thousand yards, maybe 1500. Drills mostly. 100 yards on the 2 minute or 1:45. that sort of thing. But as my 200 yard warm up stretched to 500 yards, I wondered what it would be like to just swim a mile straight.  I did it a while back, so I knew it was attainable. So instead of stopping at 500, I kept on swimming.800, 1200, 1500 yards and I still felt pretty good. As I approached the 1650 yard/1 mile mark, I decided to add an extra mile, just to see if I could.

On I swam, focusing on good form and long glide, keeping a decent pace.  And sure enough, the yards kept rolling by. 2000, 2500 3000 yards. I finished the second mile, 3300 yards about 53 minutes after I started my warm up swim. I had glanced at the clock before I started, but wasn't tracking seconds. That's an average of 1:45 per 100 yards... for two miles.  Not near what I could have done twenty five years ago, but you know what? I'm pretty pleased with it! I know that if I wanted to, I've got the swim part of a full iron distance in me. So I know I can do the swim and bike portions of an olympic distance. And I still have many months to train! So I apologize for posting late. I swam a bit farther than I expected.

That swim, though, has given me a boost in the confidence I'll need to shed a fourth grader worth of weight.

What are your challenges? What is stopping you from attacking those? How can I help you attack those obstacles and reach your goals?

More Later

Time is Time (John)

I'm not sure what happens with time.  Occasionally it flows like silly putty in January.  Especially when I am working overnights with no calls, or waiting for the cookies to bake.  Then it turns around and surprises me by seemingly skipping whole days and weeks, such as when projects are due, or I have an event coming up.

Sometimes I look back at a calendar to figure out where I was when, and can't believe the amount of places and things and events that were somehow packed into days or hours.  The past month since I've posted here is good evidence of that.

First, how did I do on my goals?

Well, the Seven Sandwiches Project was concluded on Monday.  I skipped Father's Day, so it actually spanned eight days.  But I was pretty busy on that day.  More on that later.  All things considered, we had some tasty sandwiches, and my seven year old son even contributed a recipe for one of the days.  So - GOAL COMPLETE!

I also had a goal to keep improving on my times during sprint triathlons.  I realize that at some point I will have reached top speed and getting personal bests will be a stretch.  Fortunately, I'm new enough to this and have enough room for improvement that I continue to shave time from the events.  I did the Pigman Triathlon back on June 5th, and the Rochesterfest Triathlon a few days ago on the 19th.  Click on the links for my full race reports.  The Cliff's Notes version is I can swim like a fish, but my bikes and runs continue to be slow.  I did shave time from my run from one to the next. And considering the two weeks of mayhem I had between the two, I am overall pleased with the results.  So - GOAL (pretty much) COMPLETE!

As for those two weeks, somehow I managed to keep my sanity through my Mom having a full out stroke, and getting sick enough to want to just crawl into bed and remain immobile for weeks on end. 

Mom is doing remarkably well, post stroke.  She is back to walking and talking and continues to improve.  Apparently my parents have bullet dodging abilities when it comes to major medical events.  Though I wish they would quit with the demonstrations, as they are taking their toll me!  All of the driving back and forth to Cedar Rapids to visit, along with sleepless nights and days filled to the brim with living life led to me neglecting my own health.  I developed a really juicy sinus infection, ear infection, throat infection, which reduced me to a goo hacking mass for most of the past two weeks.  It wasn't a pretty sight during the Rochesterfest Tri, but I survived it.

That tri was on Father's Day, and I was lucky to have my Wife and Kiddos there to cheer me on.  That, above anything else, really kept me motivated and moving.  The rest of Dad's Day was spent opening presents, calling our Dads, and recovering from the tri!

I took a break from the pity party in my head and was able to give thanks that my Dad was still around and doing relatively well, and thanks also that Mom was still alive and also doing well.  I have beautiful, smart kids, and a beautiful, caring and supportive wife, a roof over my head, food on the table and hobbies to keep me moving.  I am able to do triathlons, which is physically beyond most of my patients. So in all, I am quite blessed. 

These are the things I need to remember when that little voice in my brain tries to beat me up for something. Time is constant, but will always appear malleable.  And life is hard all over, so count your blessings and continue the march. 

  So - Goals for the next month...

1. Figure out another Seven Day Project, get it done and posted.
2. Train harder for my next triathlon, the Tour de Kirkwood down in Missouri.  I want to be ranked really high coming out of the water, and improve my bike and run times so I'm not in the bottom 10%.  This means training on more hills.
3. Spend less time on the computer, and more time playing with the kiddos.  And on that note, I'm posting this, turning the machine off and getting out the toys! 

Good Health and Happiness until next time!

Raptureless Days Ahead (John)

Well.  No Rapture yesterday.   Shoot.  I was hoping it would happen.

No seriously.

Life these days is crazy.  Kiddos need tending, teaching and loving.  Scheduling time with the Wife is next to impossible.  Our collective parents are spread across the health spectrum from "pretty healthy" right on over to near the "so long, thanks for all the fish" area. Employers are kind, but hardly ready to let us self schedule around our lives.  My business is on hold until further notice, so no shop time for me.  Finding time to breathe has seemed unreachable.  Which leaves me cranky and tired and wishing, wishing, wishing for a vacation.  Or the Rapture.

Because one way or the other, I'd be OK with that.  If God decided I had done well enough on the planet and met all the benchmarks for getting swept up, up and away, then I'd be in heaven with my family, friends and pets, and all would be fine with the Universe.  But if my scorecard was still in the red and I got left behind... well, I'm certain that the Wife and Kiddos are in the black and would be gone, so I wouldn't have to worry about them.  And I could survive pretty well in an Armageddon world.  I'd go all Mad Max and get me an unSaved dog or two, and we'd build ourselves a nice little fortress farm to live out the rest of the days.

And either of those sounds so much more relaxing than what life is throwing at me these days.  Even a zombie apocalypse sounds less stressful than my life right now.

I went to see Mom in the hospital Thursday, and while I was in town I went to a concert at my old high school.  It was the first time I'd been back since the early 1990's.  Some things are the same but much has changed.  The Choir director that started when I was a senior is retiring after 22 years of teaching and directing.  He has had a whole career there since I left.  It left me reflecting on just what I had done with the last 22 years of my life.  As I drove the three hours home that night I was thinking about what I would have done differently if I were back in high school again.  My biggest trouble, for my whole life really, is that I have no real direction.  There are so many things that I want to do, and so many things I want to experience, that to focus on just one and make a career out of it... well... it obviously didn't work out that way, so I can't imagine that it would sort itself out if I had a second time around.

The thing is, is that it is tiring trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up, especially since I am well past the "growing up" phase.  I ran into a couple of people from the "old days" at the concert who asked me what I was doing these days.  "I'm a paramedic" was the easy answer.  Because I am a sometimes paramedic, and I do enjoy that job.  But I'm also an artist, a writer, a father, a husband, a son, a small business owner, a cook, a gardener, a triathlete in training, a philosopher, a photographer, a pilot, a carpenter, a blacksmith, a repairman, a contractor, a designer, and a dog trainer that wants to go back to school to become an astronomer, a biologist, a chef, or maybe a circus clown.  I want to spend the summer studying the varieties of dragonflies in my front yard.  I want to develop my own line of grilling tools that actually make sense for grilling, then test them out by developing my culinary chops while I grill tasty food.  I want my parents to be healthy again so they can enjoy these days with me, instead of taking up dual citizenship in their house and the hospital.  I want time to do everything.  I want to figure out how to do everything I want and still accomplish the things that I need to do.  And that is a very elusive goal.

So... no rapture.  I guess I'll continue the march on the Seven Days project.  My goal is to have the Sandwiches up by the end of the month.  Or maybe by my birthday in August.  Time marches on, and so will I.  Doggedly and determinedly.  I'll continue to set goals.  Some I will reach.  Some I will not.  But isn't that what life is all about?  You just can't count on a Rapture for a break from it all.

I can't have everything I want.  This much is clear.  But like the song says, I might just get what I need.  I'd like very much for advice on how to be OK with that.

Challenges and Dreams (John)

So in my last post, I had a profound sense of "let's get this show on the road" about life thanks to Dad dying and coming back.  I accepted a challenge from my friend Wendy to take a picture of myself everyday.  So here you go...

 I started on Tartan Day, and wore my clan kilt with pride!  My family are Wallace's on my maternal grandmother's side.  And yes, that's the Wallace of Braveheart fame.  And yes, I do wear my kilt in the traditional way.

 Then I tried to take a serious picture, but ended up smirking instead.

 A self portrait on the third day found me needing a haircut and beard trim.

 Which I did, and documented the next day.

Watching the Sweet Pea watch the Mickey Mouse Club when I realized I needed a shot. Later this evening, my Sweet Pea would develop the hives that broke my heart to see.  But she's a toughie and even while all itchy and miserable still snuggled up to me and giggled sometimes.

In the shop.  I'd like to have more time like this in the future.

And after a good 2 mile run.  The running is getting better, and I fully expect to be able to run the 5K's that finish the sprint triathlons I'm doing this season.  Speaking of which, I got a nice write up as a "featured triathlete" on the Triathanewbie.com website. 

So, challenge completed.  I realize it isn't a huge deal.  But even small accomplishments are something to celebrate.  Never forget that.

On to the dreams.  I filed the above pictures under the name "Seven Days".  I think this led to the dream I had the next night.  I was sitting at a small table in my front yard.  The kiddos were playing in the yard, and I was taking pictures of a sandwich on the table.  That's right.  A sandwich.  I was confused for a bit, as I often am in dreams where random and bizarre events are unfolding.  But then it hit me.  I was taking a picture to finish off a project I was working on.

Instantly I was on my computer, finishing the first of the "Seven Days" projects.  It was called "Seven Sandwiches: Sandwiches to Delight and Inspire."  In this project I had created, photographed and written about a sandwich for each day of the week.  This of course included ingredients and recipes, and how they tasted.  In my dream I recall that every sandwich was delightful and inspiring, hence the title. Very tasty.

When I woke up, I chuckled to myself about how silly such a project would be.  Who needs to know about my favorite PBJ, or how to make grilled cheese.  But the more I woke up, the more I wondered why not do a seven sandwich project?  I also remembered from the dream that this was just the first of the Seven Days Projects.  Soon the dream turned into a challenge.  Another challenge I'll extend to you, dear reader.

I'm going to start a Seven Day Project Challenge.  The first, of course, being Seven Sandwiches to Delight and Inspire.  Here are the rules... It doesn't have to be seven consecutive days. It doesn't have to be every week.  That would burn me out fast.  But for a Seven Days project, choose a project and finish it within a set time.  A month, for example.  Or maybe two or three weeks.  But it has to cover seven days, and include seven "things". You can even do one every couple of months if you want.  Or just commit to doing ONE this year!  

Some of my future projects might include: Seven Days of Birds in My Front Yard - A Photo Essay.  Or Seven Days of Triathlon Workouts for the Couch Potato.  Or maybe Seven Days of Supper - A Week of Tasty Meals for Families.

What suggestions do you have for me to do in the future?  Be creative.  I may just accept YOUR challenge!  Or better yet, come play along with me.  Do a Seven Day Project of your own, and we'll put them all together into a book, publish it, go on Oprah before she retires, and spend the royalties we get on a vacation to find the Worlds Best Sandwiches!  Whaddaya say!?!  Are you up for Seven Days?

Life is Good, folks.  Let's do something with it, shall we?

UPDATE: I started a blog for the Seven Day Project challenge... you can find it here.

http://sevendayproject.blogspot.com/

Stay tuned!

What Are You Waiting For? (John)

Many times there will be gentle reminders of what life is all about.  The smile of a child.  A Springtime thunderstorm after a long winter.  A good meal like Becky makes.  Then there are the days that life just smacks you in the head with a full grown Yellowfin tuna and screams into your brain just how important it is to get up and do whatever it is that you want to do.  Monday the 21^st of March was such a day for me, when I got a phone call from my sister saying that my Dad had a heart attack.  I spent the next hour pretty convinced that he had died, as every report I got was bad.  As a paramedic, I know the odds of getting somebody back from where he was.  Pulseless V-fib, we call it.  Full blockage of the Widowmaker artery, the one that supplies blood to most of the heart.  Shocks were administered, eight right on scene before they even loaded him in the ambulance.  Drugs were administered, epinephrine and Amioderone meant to get his heart beating normally again.  Nothing was working. 

Dad was supposed to have been on a road trip with his brothers.  Headed to San Fransisco for some family business and bonding time.  But the business had been called off at literally the last minute, and Dad had gone to his “gym” that day instead.  His gym just happened to be the cardiac rehab gym in a facility that also had Mom’s dialysis and a medical clinic.  Remarkably, that day at the clinic, an ER doc and a cardiac nurse just happened to be filling in.  He ran the code and had made a call to the hospital ER where Dad was headed to give them a report.  He told that doctor not to expect much, as nothing was working.  The medics worked on Dad all the way to the hospital, with a couple more shocks and more meds.  They wheeled him into the ER still doing CPR and gave him another shock and even more meds.  That ER doctor consulted with everybody, and they all agreed that they would give Dad one more shock, his twelfth.  If that didn’t work, they would stop the code because they were just not going to get him back.

Well, that last shock worked.  By some miracle, it worked.  And over the past two weeks Dad went from being intubated, cooled to 91 degrees, balloon angioplasty to squeegee out the crap in the Widowmaker, and doped to the gills with drugs that helped him heal but also caused horrific nightmares, to sitting in his big blue chair in his house, flying my little toy helicopter, talking of nothing and everything, and recovering from his death. 

This of course has done nothing for my “sit around and procrastinate” self.  That’s the guy sitting in my head with several others, including the panicky “HOLY CRAP GET IT DONE NOW WHO CARES ABOUT THE QUALITY IT HAS TO BE FINISHED! GO! GO! GO!” guy.  I try to ignore him.  But there is also the “Time to Chase Those Dreams” guy, and the “Hey, call your friends and family and tell them you love them” guy.  And of course, the “Hey man, life is good” guy.  Lately he has been speaking loudly. 

“Life is Good” he says.  “Beautiful, loving wife.  Amazingly stunning kids that you couldn’t love more. Roof over head, food on table, family and friends that make every day so very sweet.   You’ve got a brain and some talent so go use it and have fun.  Enjoy this time, man.  It is fleeting and wonderful.  Oh, and let the dogs out to run more.”

So I listen to him.  I remember to see the world like my kids see it.  Full of amazing things in simple pleasures.  Dragonflies and seed sprouts and the flutter in my stomach that happens every time I see the beautiful smile of my wife.  And sitting with my father in his living room, flying my little toy helicopter, talking of nothing and everything, and recovering from his death. 

And it is right that we are here.  In the living room.  Living.  And my God how lucky I am to still have my father to spend time with.  To hear his wisdom and his wisecracks.  To hear his voice say “Hey bud.”  When for one hour on that Monday I thought he was gone, and now want nothing more than to spend time enjoying my time with him.

Life is too short to "what if" yourself in a negative way. What if I can't do it?  What if I suck?  What if I fail?  My project for this week is doing a good "What if" every day.  Today I thought to myself "Self... What if you accept that challenge to take a self portrait picture every day and actually do it and post it when you're done?" So I did.  What the heck.  My friend Wendy over at Wendelonia challenged, and life is too short not to accept a good challenge.  And I'm challenging my Dad, too.  And my other friends.  And what the heck, I challenge YOU, too.  Dad got a second chance at life.  I'm not waiting for a second chance anymore, I'm going to use the first chance.

Oh, and I'm going to let the dogs out to run more, too.

Welcome John!

So.  The first guy in the COFFEE world.  No pressure or anything.  

I’m John.  To earn income I work as a Paramedic.  I also build things.  Things like stained glass, custom knives, wooden things, metal things, all sorts of things.  I also enjoy the following things in whole or in large parts… Gardening, flying, swimming, eating, cooking, painting, writing, camping, canoeing, picture taking, exploring, creating, singing, guitar playing, learning, and I’ve probably forgotten a few –ing’s, too.  

I was a United States Marine in my younger days, and spent a great deal of time learning the finer points of destroying life.  Other than the whole killing people thing, I loved my time in the service.  I do believe that the US is the best country in the world, but I think we have a long way to go to live up to our potential.  A long, long way.   Along with my service jobs, I’ve done a few other things since high school.  I’ve been a Lutheran youth director, a seasonal vegetable harvester, a custom carpet manufacturer, an over the road trucker, a touring musician, a motivational speaker, a factory line worker, an office manager, a small business owner, and a few other things.  I’m a Jack-of-All-Trades, but I don’t feel like I’ve mastered any.

My challenge for this COFFEE adventure is not about overcoming fears.  The only fear I have is loss of my family, and my wife and I have a pact that I will die first to avoid that fear.  That and heights.  Well, not the height really, so much as the falling from and eventual meeting of the ground. 

Long ago, I used to go after what I wanted and do it, regardless of the hurdles.  I want to get that person back.  I want to find the adventure in this life and do it.  My first goal is to replace the picture of me on the Mississippi River taken on an expedition in 2002 with a current picture of me paddling somewhere.  I used to be fun.  I want to be again.

Mostly I enjoy the company of my wife and two kids, as they are easily the most entertaining group I could have asked to be involved with.  My dad taught me that all of life is an adventure.  I want to pass that on to my kids.  Time to get going.