Wabi Sabi and the Astrological Cat Lady (Holly)

Setting the tone-yo!

Quotes and clichés from the last couple of weeks:

Where there’s a will there’s a way.

Children need slow to grow (hey, guess what? So do adults!)

Relapse is part of recovery………

Or is it Recovery is part of Relapse? Think about it……now play it over in your head again…

Sometimes you have to be out of balance to achieve balance.

First writing since the winter solstice for me. And, yes. The days are getting brighter, both figuratively and literally.  I’m still doing the Artist’s Way, but not nearly as diligently as I was in the beginning.  I have been doing my morning pages about 75% of the time and still suck rocks at the Artist’s dates and the extra tasks.  I feel a bit guilty about these things, but not too bad as I have evidence that I actually am becoming more creative. In addition, I feel like I am living a more authentic life.  Consequently, I am happier and have a renewed energy. One might even say zest.

Holidays- I took the advice I doled out on the winter solstice. I slowed down and enjoyed my friends and family.  It was my first year divorced and the holidays could have been crap. But no.  My family and friends, both old and new, came through. I had fun. I laughed a lot and cried a little.  I loved and I felt loved. It was genuine, good stuff. It’s what life is all about. Full stop.

Alive- I’m alive and I’m going to stay alive. And, I feel more alive than I remember feeling.  Besides the friends and family mentioned above, a lot of this has to do with music.  My life changed last year when I received my first ever iPod and the corresponding iTunes.  Since then I’ve been introduced to a lot of new music, seen a lot of live shows, and dabbled a bit in writing songs! (much to my complete surprise, amazement, and chagrin).  It all started with Truck Driver’s Daughter last March, then The Flood in July. In December I wrote two! I ain’t gonna beg and Owl and Hedgehog. January I wrote Back Road Boy.  They’re all kinda different from each other, but I kinda like them all.  I have no idea what I’m going to do with them.  I don’t play an instrument and I can’t sing.  No, I mean, I REALLY can NOT sing.  But, I’m trying to remember the line from the Artist’s Way book….I’m to take care of the quantity and god will take care of the quality.  I feel like if I feel like writing songs, which on the surface seems nonsensical to me, I should do it.  The answer of what to do with them will come later. Yup.

Bucket List- Somebody asked me in August if I had updated or created a “bucket list” as a result of having cancer.  I stupidly stammered and said, uhhhh….no. I guess not.  Well, in retrospect, I was too much in the thick of it then….intense chemotherapy, newly divorced, etc….I was not thinking clearly enough for a bucket list. I was in survival mode.  Now, however, I’m ready to create a bucket list of sorts.  It’s going to tie in nicely with Artist’s Way and cleansing.  What I’m going to do is set short, long, and lifetime goals. With SMART goals. (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Time bound). In several different areas of my life. I’ve never done this before.  Areas will be things like career, financial, education, family, artistic, attitude, physical, pleasure, public service, and spiritual. There will be backpacking in Utah and learning Spanish involved.

Owls, Hedgehogs, Wabi Sabi, and the astrological Cat Lady-  I can’t tell you how tempted I was to name this blog something to do with Owls and synchronicity.  Again. I’m telling you! This shit won’t stop! Just when I forget about it, something happens again! It’s freaky, creepy, and well, a little bit amazingly beautiful.  Just one example…..when driving home from work on New Years Eve day, the streets were quiet as nobody else was foolish enough to be working on this particular holiday day.  The air was cold, it was overcast, and the earth was brown. I had my grant on my mind and a little bit how much last New Years sucked.   Suddenly, a very large bird flew from one side of the street I live on to the other-low and right in front of my car.  You guessed it. An Owl.  I had actually never seen a real life Owl. And there she was. It was stunning.  Is it god or the universe guiding me? Nudging me? Slapping me? Or is it that “when the student is ready, the teacher will appear”.  I have to say, I always took that saying a little bit more literally. Like a human teacher would appear, like in robes or a snazzy suit.

For Christmas I received a lot of things to help with writing.  I didn’t necessarily ask for any of these things. Through doing the artist’s way, I’ve mused about what my creative outlet will be. Well, based on synchronicity, I’m going to start with working through some of my writing gifts. 

Implosion of Gratitude

I can’t stop thinking and feeling so grateful. I sometimes feel completely overwhelmed with gratitude.  On the surface, this sounds lovely, right? Well, it’s actually a problem.  My gratitude is so powerful that I am moved to inaction.  There are so many things and people that I want to honor for how they’ve touched my life and for what they’ve given me that I am moved to complete inaction. It’s embarrassing and it’s bullshit. And, really unacceptable.  I simply must come up with a plan on how to remedy the situation. Ok, well, I have a plan. I need to effing make it happen. And, learn how to show my genuine gratitude more often and as it happens.

So, ladies, my friends……it’s 5 am and I’m drinking COFFEE and writing this.  The COFFEE is warm and delicious and I’m savoring it.  I am overwhelmed with gratitude for YOU ALL. I’m grateful for the time anyone spends reading my musings and even more grateful for the feedback received. It always moves me and means so much.  I wish I could do more to show my appreciation. Like pay everyone’s travel to Des Moines for a vision board party…but alas, my words will have to do for today.

Rock on and make today your bitch!