Give me the beat boys, and free my soul (Holly)

What is my COFFEE project and why am I doing it? Let me just revisit this a minute.  I decided to do the Artist’s Way 12-week course.  Why? The short answer is to feel more alive. To embrace life. To live with intention. Creativity through spirituality.  Tap into the hidden Holly? Who is she? What does she want to do? What is she capable of? What is that potential all those teachers talked about, why didn’t I live up to it before, and is it possible to find it and live up to it now? 

Well, I’ll tell you.  I’m still stuck on Chapter 7.  I've been on chapter 7 for at least 4-6 weeks! No artist’s date since my snowy meditation in the kids’ fort.  Only my morning pages. (Yes, we’re friends again).  In my last blog, I wrote about wondering what my owls had been up to.  I hadn’t heard from them in quite awhile, especially compared to how hard they were pounding me there for awhile.  I also hadn’t really had any serendipitous or synchronicities occur in quite awhile.  In Artist’s Way, this question is asked at the end of every chapter.  Well, I was just sure that I was being punished by the universe for not continuing the AW course.  “No OWLS FOR YOU” (Said like the soup natzi from Seinfeld). 

One night I had a dream.  In my dream, it was spring and I was sleeping in a day bed under some weird lean-to by a river.  As it became dawn, a bald eagle soared by soooo close.  It was breathtaking! Then, amazingly!!! It came into the lean-to area and sat.  He looked at me with strength and confidence.  He stayed for at least a full minute.  In my dream, I was sooooo appreciative of the eagle visit, but also yearned for my owls.  I didn’t need to yearn long.  The biggest owl I had ever seen flew right in the lean-to area and sat right beside me.  She was white.  She looked at me with gentleness and love. Like Crusoe’s love for Angus in the Water Horse.   I think she stayed with me at least 5 minutes.  When I awoke, I felt much more at peace than the day before. 

What about the synchronicity? I hadn’t had any type of serendipitous occurrences in quite some time.  More punishment from the Universe? No, Artist's Way? "No serendipity for you!!" (Soup Nazi voice again). Well, you guessed it. I wouldn’t have to wait much longer for that either.  On Saturday night, I was introduced to the woman who just moved into the house I lived in 5 years ago.  I lived there for 3 years. It was where I was living when Owen was born. It was where I was living when I almost died giving birth to Owen.  There were so many things I’d loved about that house.  I asked her if I could see the inside and we promptly went over.  Her decorating style is unique and creative.  She doesn’t work outside of the home and I was jealous of the time she has to do creative home beautification projects.  I was also feeling very inspired to continue making my home beautiful and unique.  Then, I noticed we had a wall hanging in common.  It’s not a mass produced piece, so I was quite surprised. 

Wall hanging in common with my new friend.

I was having a lot of flash backs about the time I spent in the house trying to recover from my near death experience.  We were chatting away and I mentioned that I was in remission from cancer.  She seriously said, “May I ask what kind”.  And, I glibly said sure, and continued to tell her what kind, blah, blah, blah.  She said, oh, that’s what my friend had.  And she started telling me about her friend's diagnosis and subsequent ordeal.  As she was talking, it occurred to me that this girl did not survive. So I asked.  No. She did not.  Twenty-nine fucking years old. Gone. Non-Hodkin’s Lymphoma.  Look up from the sofa and there is her beautiful picture on the wall staring at me.  Beautiful young woman with long brown hair.  1980-2009 it says.  I hugged my new friend and we started to cry.  You may not believe this, but I haven’t cried about Non-Hodkin’s Lymphoma since June 20, the night in the emergency room.  A light-hearted children’s birthday quickly turned into a bizarre slap upside the head by the universe.  I need to think more about what the universe is telling me, but a short version may be something like, "uhhhh....Holly could you take your Lymphoma diagnosis as seriously as your other near death experience. Dumb ass. " (Said like the father in "That 70's Show")

Now we need to talk about the “HAPPY” PARTY EXTRAVAGANZA.   Earlier that week, my friend and I decided we would have a contest on who could make the HAPPIEST mixed CD.  There are rules and judges.  One CD will be called THIS Happy CD and the other THAT Happy CD so judges won’t be biased by who the mix master is.  Well, I love making mixed CD’s and I’m taking this mission very seriously.  When talking about the project, other people started saying, HEY! I want to make a Happy CD! So, then we thought we could have a HAPPY CD tournament with a tournament bracket.

Then, we thought, Hey! Let’s have a HAPPY party where we play all the HAPPY CD’s.  We’ll wear the happiest clothes we can come up with and have it be a potluck and bring the HAPPIEST food we can think of.  Then, at young child’s birthday party referenced above, I asked the Grandpa, who is an amazing blues musician living in Branson, MO if he’d come up and play at the HAPPY party.  (Yes, I get the irony.  But, let me tell you…the Blues make me happy.)  Then, I was like, well, hell, I know quite a few musicians.  Maybe we should have them ALL come and sing ANYTHING, cuz live music is just EFFIN HAPPY!!  Then, it occurred to me that it should be a fundraiser for the Luekemia/Lymphoma Society.  I know so many people who have suffered from either Luekemia or Lymphoma as well as some kick ass connections to pull this puppy off.  There is tons of serendipitous shit happening since I gave birth to this idea that it would take another 500 words to tell you about it all.  One thing is that I just so happen to have a coffee date scheduled with a friend of mine this coming Friday who does this kind of planning for a living.  Currently, here’s my vision:  A two day Woodstock-esque extravaganza complete with music, tents, peace, love, and happiness. 

COFFEE chics unite and start planning your trip to Des Moines.  Bring your creative talents and instruments.

Foot note about Eagles appearing in a dream. I was shocked to have a dream about two Eagles, so had to look it up: Here’s what it the dream interpretation folks say it means: To see an eagle in your dream, symbolizes nobility, pride, fierceness, freedom, superiority, courage, and powerful intellectual ability. It also represents self-renewal and your connection with your spirituality. You will struggle fiercely and courageously to realize your highest ambitions and greatest desires.