A Poem by Rumi:
The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell.
Don't go back to sleep.
You must ask for what you really want.
Don't go back to sleep.
People are going back and forth across the doorsill
Where the two worlds touch.
The door is round and open.
Don't go back to sleep.
Now on to the task at hand:
|My Morning Pages Notebook|
Artist's Date: I continue to suck rocks at the artist's date. Last week I used two shopping experiences as a cop-out for the artist's date. I went to Trader Joe's for the first time last Friday night. I was by myself. P said if I bought an exotic fruit or vegetable, that I had never bought before, AND THEN COOKED SOMETHING WITH IT, that could count. Well, I bought persimmons, but have done squat with them. I also went in to the European Flavors grocery store and bought 6 different types of herring for the Christmas party on Sunday. YUMMY!! While there I had a fabulous conversation with the owner on how most silly Iowans aren't into fish and what they're missing out on. She then described the deliciousness of some sturgeon they just got in. I will be serving it at the Boxing Day gathering. There's still time for an Artist Date this week.....
Chapter Musings: I'm on Chapter 4 now- "Recovering a Sense of Integrity". A lot of the chapter is about the power of the morning pages, which I've covered. But, there is much more in this chapter that spoke to me.
1) The power of solitude. Until we experience the FREEDOM of solitude, we cannot connect authentically. Solitude v. Loneliness. Is it a glass half empty/full issue? It seems to be a theme that I've been encountering a lot at this point in my life. I've been talking to several other people about loneliness too. Pema Chodron writes a lot about loneliness in "When things Fall Apart". A couple months ago, I experienced loneliness like I never had before. This month, I truly am looking forward the Freedom of Solitude and connecting with my authentic self, and hence, my creativity. It seems to be a theme with several COFFEE chics. Multi-tasking is overrated. Too much on plate=bad news and mixed up wires in Holly's head.
2) Search and Discard- Julia talks about the changes that are most likely occurring as a result of doing this course and the corresponding impulse to throw out old shit that has lost its purpose. By so doing we make room for new possibilities. I really think this might be my next project, women. It will be gut-wrenchingly hard and painful, but uber therapeutic and practical all at the same time. I will have a truly clean slate to work on the creation of quantities of cool shit.
3) Dreams-Julia talks about an energy shift that is probably occurring at this point in the course and that I'll start remembering my dreams better. I am very excited about this. I actually really started remembering my dreams again about a year ago. They are part of the reason why I felt like creating-it's how I wrote my second song, the Flood. Last night I dreamed I was snow skiing. Dream dictionary says, that dreaming about skiing can indicate "pushing yourself and putting your mental and/or physical ability to the test. You are your own fiercest competitor." Sweet. I don't think there's a song in there, but it certainly rings true for me.
Basic Principles: #2 is There is an underlying, in-dwelling creative force infusing all of life-including ourselves. Well, I sure as hell hope so. I'm kind-of banking on this principal to justify all the time I'm spending trying to find mine!!
Rules of the Road: #1 is Show up at the page. Use the page to rest, to dream, to try. Word up, Julia! Best advice yet, and I really did cover it in the "morning pages" section.
Curmudgeons: These little dudes haven't been as noisy this week. Really my thoughts have been going something like this.....okay....fine....maybe there is a little creativity in there worth sharing and getting out. Take care of the quantity, the universe or god will take care of the quality. Well, jollyho, what exactly are you going to be doing? Writing? Photography? Writing what? Travel writing? Genealogical biography writing? Random short stories? Songs? Who the hell would sing them? How? Now, having said that, I think I'm doing okay with just relaxing into the process and having faith that any future projects, and how to narrow them down and prioritize them, will come to me in due time.
Random: Okay....there's something going on with me and Owls. Not quite sure what it is yet. They're everywhere and trying to tell me something. My morning pages notebook is an owl, I'm teaching a comprehensive sex ed class to middle schoolers called OWL (our whole lives), Benjamin's favorite book is a Dora book about La Lechuza (the Owl), and there were OWL statues staring at me when shopping at Homemakers last weekend. No seriously, they were. Gently-but staring just the same. Just when I forgot about the Owl, another one (or was it the same one?) would find me again. So, I wrote about the OWLS in my morning pages. That very day, my friend was telling me about someone she met over the weekend. I was certain that I needed to meet him too. She said she tried to look him up on facebook, but he just had a picture of.....an OWL as his profile pic! The next day, two OWLS came into my house...
one via post (West Elm-a white ceramic OWL)
and one as a hostess/christmas gift-an OWL Ornament.
Today...I bought another Owl from Target to go with my pine cone hedgehog. That has a funny story too.
It is not over with the Owls. The Owls are trying to tell me something. I will keep my eyes and ears open and let you know if I find anything else out.
Life after death: I know it seems like a pipe dream, but this week I can't help thinking about balance. Having a full, genuine and authentic life with an attempt at creating an environment conducive to achieving balance. The next thing that comes to mind, to achieve this, is a calendar. Oh, and a prayer board and mandalas! Let's have a COFFEE party and make prayer boards and mandalas. I'll bring the incense. What will you bring?