OMG!!! HOLY SNOW! We survived. I’m actually, legitimately stunned in a way that we did! You read about the cluster that Snowpocalypse 2011 (SP11) created in the Tulsa, Okla., area. I’m here to tell you that SWMO was in pretty much the same boat, although we didn’t get quite as much of the evil white crap the second go-round that Tulsa did. But we got ENOUGH, for sure, MORE THAN ENOUGH. It’s been COLD, nasty, and actually a little scary. The school district I work for was closed for NINE school days; our last day of school was Jan 31, for Heaven’s sake. ENOUGH time off already! We just went back yesterday (2/14). Granted, we were able to get around some after about the 5th day, but it was still fairly slick, so we didn’t run around just for the sake of running around. Needless to say, this “lovely” weather (note deep sarcasm) has put a SERIOUS damper on my COFFEE goals, at least a few of them… So, with that, a quick update:
1. U 2.0 – It’s U 2.0. It’s my life. It’s a work in progress, just like me.
2. Training for the Half – Not only have I not run a single mile outside on the road, I have run less than 10 on a treadmill in the last two weeks. I DID get in six core workouts and a couple of weights sessions, but I’m in trouble here, folks. Really serious trouble. In just a few days and two months, I am running 13.2 miles for charity. I have paid money and recruited friends to join me in this endeavor. THIRTEEN POINT TWO miles, and I’ve run less than ten miles in the last two weeks… yeah. That adds up, doesn’t it? Um, if it does, I would like to talk to you. Now, though, that I can actually see some pavement, I will be getting back into my training and praying like heck that I’ve done enough work to be able to pull this out of my butt. Cross your fingers, say your prayers, send me some mojo – I need it ALL. Gracias, friends.
3. Book project – I said last post that the fire was lit and I was ready to get back to work. Well, I’m not. I did some work on this project during our two weeks of snow-induced hell, and what I’m seeing is that I’m running everything together. It all sounds the same. I’m trying to tell important stories about the lives of incredible people, and I’m mucking it all up. A good friend looked me in the eye and spoke much-needed truth: “You gotta get your own sh*t in order, Steph, before you can deal with other people’s sh*t and do it any justice.” I had no response. She was ABSOLUTELY, completely right. SO, I’m granting myself a break. I swear to you (already swore to myself) that I will come back to this project when I have a little more of my own sh*t in order. I think maybe once the divorce is final and all that’s behind me, I’ll be worthy of even HEARING these stories, let alone trying to tell them. I need your help with this, too. I need you to ask me about my sh*t and if I’m getting it together. Give me a couple months and let me tell you I’m divorced first, but then you have my permission to ride me like a racehorse until I can honestly tell you I’m back to work on this project. Thank you in advance, by the way.
4. Pondering studenthood – I’m narrowing down my list of potential schools and have talked to several more people about what I need to pursue in terms of which degree, and I am feeling much more equipped to make this decision. Application deadlines for fall semesters are the end of March, so it’s go-time. I’m excited.
5. Co-parenting – The kids are pretty pleased with the arrangement we have right now, this sharing of the children poop. I hate it, personally. It gives me whiplash, and he doesn’t deserve this. THE KIDS, however, are happy, and THEY deserve both parents. SO, I am biting my tongue and praying for peace about this mess we’ve made. I know of nothing else I can do.
6. Awareness of Others – I spent some time during Snowpocalypse looking out for a couple of my neighbors who are older, and it was really nice to know that they felt better knowing someone was concerned for them. I also got to spend TONS of quality time with my kids, and to be able to focus that much on THEM and doing stuff they enjoy was really terrific! Instead of running around from practice to practice, game to tournament, we got to sit down, watch movies, play cards, bake stuff, read stories, do puzzles, play on the computer, snuggle and talk… It pains me to realize that the evil snow made this possible, but I’m grateful. Good times. I’m making it my mission this week in particular, as my students are returning to school and routines, to really focus on my students, too. I can’t spend lots of extra time with them, but I can be more observant and careful with the time I do have with them. I’m going to really be more aware of these kids and what’s up with them. I think it’s going to pay off. I don’t know how or why exactly. I just do. Stay tuned…
I spent some time during SP11 doing some things for me, too. I spent some time with friends, albeit online, who are in the same boat as me. We got to talk and commiserate and share and vent and laugh about our lives and the poop we’re going through. It was actually good medicine. Much-needed medicine. Check this out:
I choose to live by choice not by chance; to make changes not excuses; to be motivated not manipulated; to be useful, not used; to excel, not compete; I choose self-esteem, not self pity; I choose to listen to my inner voice, not the random opinions of others.
I remember reading this for the first time on one of the boards and ROLLING MY EYES. Gag, I thought. PUH-LEEZE. I read it again about a week ago, and it was like I’d never really seen it before. Yes, I thought. Absolutely. Church, girl, preach it. So I stole it. And I’m sharing it with you. To whoever it is I swiped this from, thank you. (I did intend to give you credit, but I can’t find your post now. I’m sorry. Surely you don’t mind me sharing your – or, whoever you stole it from, their - wisdom.) I have read and re-read this quote and broken it down piece by piece, which leads me to the following… (stay with me, okay? There IS a point, I promise.)
Also during this break I got seriously caught up (and WAAAAAYYYYYY ahead – ahem…) on facebook. (P.S. If you’re a COFFEE chick, and we aren’t facebook friends, please send me a request or be on the lookout for a request from me. This should NOT be. We are sistas in COFFEE, thus should be FB friends. Jeez.) One of the best things I read/saw on FB the whole two weeks was posted by an old college friend from one college I attended and another college roommate from the school I graduated from (who do NOT know each other), within two days of one another. I do believe I was meant to watch it. I believe you were, too.
This video is a bit lengthy, but it cut to the heart of so much of what I was able to feel and learn about myself from ruminating on the quote above and the whole of much of my adult life. Yeah, I know. Admittedly, I haven’t done my research on this lady, but what she says in this presentation is spot-on, in my opinion. She nailed ME, anyway, squarely on the heart. Ironically, the message at the end of this video is exactly the same message that my Bible study group has been studying. This is the concept of being ENOUGH and allowing yourself to be ENOUGH… In fact, I am seriously contemplating having this single word tattooed on my person: ENOUGH. I am enough, doggone it! And so are YOU… I could say so much more about this, but I really feel led to just put this link in front of you and leave it up to you to watch and evaluate and feel. Watch and see what you think.
I have to tell you, COFFEE chicks and followers (thank you, by the way, for reading what we have to say even though you aren’t posting with us!!!!!), that I feel like you are all very much a part of my coming back to life after all the turmoil and, well, POOP from the last couple of years. You help me open up, share, be vulnerable, allow myself to be seen, really seen, and to choose the good over the bad. You are the voices of support (I’m sorry. I really dislike that word, but I can’t come up with anything else that seems to fit right now.), of reason, and of love… So, in light of the fact that it was just Valentine’s Day, please know that you are all appreciated, and you are all good. Much love, COFFEE friends, much LOVE.