Well, okay. I just caught up on COFFEE reading tonight and realized, oh, I think tomorrow is me. This is really an awful time for me to post. I will post, and I will not be offended if people ignore this quickly and try hard to forget it was ever (badly) written.
My last few weeks have been pretty not cool, but also not terrible too. AND, also, in perspective, especially with Steph’s last post, my junk just seems weak and very unimportant.
So, well, my happenings have been stewing and brewing in the relationship world for quite some time. Being 36, and being 36 and divorced, and being 36, divorced, and trying to figure out the best foot forward is clumsy. I have called this “adult dating” since I got divorced and jumped back in the dating waters, and I may now change this term to “adult decision dating.” That really does make more sense because there is so much riding on dating now. So long are the days where you throw caution to the wind or common goals in life are as relevant as matching socks or sober dates. So long are the days that you don’t question to the brutal stretched hamstring every SINGLE thing and tiptoe around all the hot buttons in life. So long are the days that you are a stupid head.
So basically, I decided (there’s that decision part again), to end a dear relationship. This was right, and this was yucko hard, but this is done. There is never anything fun or cool about relationships coming to a close, and I’m pretty certain nobody avoids feeling like a big fat turd bucket. I’ve also noticed everyone is left with lots of the sad muck layered with endless internal dialogue, but I’m focusing on the goal of no regrets with infallible respect, love, dignity and kindness.
This is my post. I got nothing else tonight ladies. I will post this tomorrow and forget we ever had this conversation. I promise. Oh, and I will be smiling though. I’m still doing that constantly, and the horizon is very very bright. J-Lo sunglasses for everyone please.