The last couple of weeks have been “interesting.” So much going on around here… I’ve been frustrated and moaning and groaning (which, unfortunately for you, you’ve been witness to), and I’ve been a real pansy in general about life. Some of what’s happened around here has really made clear that my moaning and groaning and complaining and whining and pity-party-throwing is just ridiculous, frankly.
One, an extended family member, a young man my age, has been battling brain cancer for some time now. He’s done great, remarkably well, in fact, and he has a terrific wife and three fab kids. He went to the doctor this week and found out that his tumor is not only growing, but it’s inoperable if he wants to continue to be able to speak.
Two, another acquaintance, the mom of one of my son’s basketball teammates and the wife of a high school classmate, was diagnosed with breast cancer. She doesn’t know too much yet, as it’s very early, but still. She’s afraid for her life and for what this means to her hubby and kids.
Three, a student of mine is dealing with the imminent death of his father. Another is dealing with a mother who just left the family behind. Still another lost a childhood friend and love interest in a car wreck this week.
Four, a friend found out that her husband’s former military commander’s children were murdered by their own mother this week. (Yeah, absorb that one for a minute…)
In light of those things and so many others, I just have to question myself and my motivation. I’m healthy. My kids are healthy. My parents are here still, healthy and supportive. My brother just got a very coveted and much-deserved promotion in the Army. I have friends and love and lots to be thankful for and am dealing with nothing that is life or death. Time to pull up the big girl panties and keep living life… and time to start thinking about someone other than ME. You may have detected this: I can be quite self-absorbed, and I usually find that I’m in a funk when I’ve been most self-absorbed.
Focusing too much on ME magnifies my problems and diminishes the blessings that are all around me. It also diminishes the stuff other people are struggling with, stuff that I should care about and be actively working to fix or help with. Time to get over myself.
Don’t hesitate to call me on this one, please.
So, in light of this reality check and the acquisition of a new pack of big girl undies (thanks, Mom – yeah, literally, she gave me a pack of underwear this weekend. I knew there was a reason for this. I adore my practical, wonderful Mom!), here is the update on my COFFEE goals:
1. U 2.0 – Still plugging along… can’t wait to go into more detail about this “situation,” but it’ll have to wait just a bit longer. Doggone it.
2. Training for the Half – Still coughing a bit, but I’m getting better. Thanks to the 9” of snow we already have on the ground and the 9-15” more we’re projected to get, I’m a little worried about my training schedule. Yeah, I can head to they gym and put miles in on the treadmill, but with almost a foot of snow on the ground, I doubt I’m driving anywhere today. Crap! No excuses here, this is for real! I’m so frustrated… April 17 isn’t going to wait on me to get my butt in gear. Would be nice, but that’s just not gonna happen. Here’s hoping the road crews rock it, and I can get back to work tomorrow. In the meantime, though, I’ll be doing a core workout along with some tae-bo or kickboxing here at home.
3. Book project – Fire’s lit. Trying to keep up. Have much to do… exhausted and excited just thinking about it. Whew.
4. Pondering studenthood – Have scheduled a couple of online “visits” to complete in the next couple of weeks, so I should know what I’m going to do (or at least what my options are) very soon. Scary poop, ya’ll! Scary poop.
5. Co-parenting – I’m not sure this is ever going to get easier, but like other things in my life right now, it’s gotta be an hour at a time, a day at a time, a week at a time. I also have to keep in mind that this is what the kids have asked for right now. They may get whiplash from all the back and forth stuff eventually, but this is what they’re asking for right now… that means I can survive this. I can. I will.
And I’m adding a #6: Awareness of Others – I don’t know if I need to focus on one particular “other,” or what. I just know I need to keep the focus off of my own poop and focus my energy on other people. I really do think my time would be better spent, and I’m almost completely positive that this will keep me from slipping back into such a nasty funk! Suck it, self-absorbed Steph.
Well, ladies, it’s time to go get into a pair of those new big-girl panties & get my butt downstairs for my workout… and I wish all of my COFFEE chicks a big-girl britches kinda week!
(Hope everyone is warm & safe & out of this stupid blizzard!!! And P, kickin’ mojo & all my love are comin’ your way for Thursday night!!! ROCK IT, girl. Work it, own it! LOL!)