:: WHY WE BE ::

Boo to false, self-imposed limits, we say. These champion oracles want to live enthusiastically. Follow our trip through projects that challenge, frustrate, and/or scare us. In the end (which is really the middle) we want to live like big bright free and authentically awesome people.

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Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Drunken Punch-up with the Universe (Holly)

Thank you for being honest, and admitting to all your lies-Don’t think I wanna get even, let the Universe decide…...
Half Smile by the Hank Dogs
I tried to insert this song. I don't know how. If you feel so inclined, download it to your iTunes while you read this blog. It's bloody good and so apros pos to so much of what we talk about here.  Also, there was an Axis I (as in the Triple Axis of Evis) episode since we last spoke that I wish I could write about, but posting this song will have to do.  It was amazing, validating, affirming. Trust your gut, friends. If you're friends with your gut, that is.

The Universe slapping you upside the head can either be amazingly beautiful or brutally painful and destructive.  And ugly.

Which one do you want first? Let’s do ugly first.  Okay….since I last wrote, the sewer problem was finally resolved. What I mean is: The problem was FINALLY discovered.  Some yahoo plumber from a couple years ago left 200 feet, yes, let me say it again, 200 feet of cable in my sewer!! Apparently this amount of cable is worth about $1200.  Build up of crap and shit (literally) and another thing for tree roots to grab on to equals a clogged sewer and over $15,000 in repair.  My insurance company will pay for about $6,000 of it.  I have a $1,000 deductible.  OUCH! I’m not doing the math.  I’m going to dissociate, thank you. What’s not resolved is that Holly needs to figure out WHO the plumbers from couple years ago were and sue their plumber tushies. Cracks and all. Bloody hell. Like I have the time, energy, or inclination!!

Meanwhile, damage to van equals over $1600.  $500 deductible. Bloody hell.

To top it off, my internet, home phone, and replacement blackberry from the blackberry phone dropping in the toilet in December (on significant day) die. Dead. All of them.  Creepy. NONE of it was tied to the work done around my house or to each other.  Bitch slap upside the head by the universe. “Stay home. Solitude is where it’s at.  Quit trying to fill up by reaching out. Lean on yourself. It’s all there.  You know this sista, why you no listen?”  Bloody hell, Universe. Fine. Not only will I stay home, but I’ll be home with NO NONE NO NONE connection to the outside world. BOOM.   

Damn it. It’s a friend’s birthday. No. Must not go out. Universe says NO! Other friend comes over. YES, you must go. UGH. No! don’twannadontmakemegouniversesaysstayhomemuststayhomeokayfinei’llgoihavereallycooljeansiwannawearanyway.  So, yup. I left the house.  And, the Universe had lovely things to say.  Including, those are cool fn jeans! Are those your underwear? No, just lace fashionably piped at the top…..

Enter HAPPY UNIVERSE story!!  Remember Happy Party Extravaganza (HPE) 2011 from last blog? Well, Ms. Universe really wants this to happen.  Two weeks ago I told you that there were soooo many serendipitous things that were happening that it would take too many pages.  Well, now that seems like the Universe was whispering. Now she’s shouting and punching me (love punches this time).  The things I’m about to tell you pretty much have fallen in my lap.  No joke.  Firstly, I’m hooked up with the Man & Woman of the Year Campaign through the Luekemia/Lymphoma Society (LLS).  I’m not running for Woman of the Year, but am on the committee for a colleague of mine, Theresa, who is running. It’s a time limited fundraising campaign.  Built in is a lot of publicity and resources through LLS.  Theresa is going with my happy live music idea as are several other people that are working on this campaign.  There are marketing opportunities including web, audio, and tv being handing to us.  Because of the time limit on this fundraising campaign, HPE needs to be earlier than I would’ve wanted, but could possibly result in an appearance by a BIG name-a man who has aged amazingly well……dreaming….oh, I digress.  But, before we get to that, let me tell you that even if we don’t get him, we are going to have an AMAZING line up!! Rewind to the fun cool jeans evening….after a lovely dinner, friends and I saunter in to Star Bar.  Who’s playing? Chris Ranallo and his beautiful band members.  Chris Ranallo has a very successful local band called the Decoys and he happens to be the ex-husband of the mother of my new born niece! Who happens to be the mother of Austin, 14 year old Luekemia survivor, who happens to be wrapping up his 2-years worth of treatments this May!! Of course they’ll play the show!

Yours truly, Iowa Jam, Des Moines, IA 5/19/1987.
How much do you want JBJ to come to Happy Party?? Thiiiissss Much!!!!

COFFEE Mates, the story could end here and I would be thrilled.  But no, it does not.  While I was schmoozing and connecting during the kickoff event of the LLS M&W of the year, my partner in crime, Theresa, was doing the same.  At the end of the night, we got together again…both of us all atwitter, I spill my news, and she says, well, the Nadas are in! SHUT THE F*(K UP! The NADAS? You mean one of the most famous Iowa bands currently playing? You mean the NADAS who opened for Bon Jovi in 2005 at Wells Fargo Arena???? You mean Bon Jovi?  The band I saw in 1987 at the Iowa Jam…..what was that song they did for one of their encore songs????   Ummmmm…..let me see….I think it was DRIFT AWAY!! The reason I fell in love with that song! (I put Dobie Gray’s version in last time’s blog because it’s 4 minutes shorter than Bon Jovi’s from 1987 (which you CAN find on YouTube)).  Do you mean Bon Jovi who I saw in 2005 and 2007 with my fellow class of 1987 sistas and COMPLETELY rekindled those friendships- invaluable angels that were there for me when fighting Lymphoma.  That Bon Jovi???  Waaaaaiiiiiiitttttt a gosh darn minute!!! Isn’t Bon Jovi going to be here in May sometime?? Hold on, let me check….. OMG! They’re here on Thursday, May 12 and not performing again until Saturday, May 14 in Atlanta.  That decides it.  HPE 2011 will be on Friday the 13th (think of the beautiful juxtaposition and possible marketing strategies!) and Jon Bon Jovi is going to come and sing Drift Away. To me.

Jon, Show us how much you want to come to Des Moines for HPE 2011!! THIIIIISSSS MUCH!!
Pick us! Look how HAPPY we are!!!!

Jon!-How sexy do you think Holly is? Ok! And, how much do you want to sing Drift Away at her HPE 2011???

I really have great lips and have aged gracefully. I really want to be part of HPE 2011.
There aren't many things happier than maracas, right???
COFFEE Mates start thinking about travel plans.  I know it’s not a long weekend, but taking time off work to be happy is WHERE IT’S AT!!  We’re thinking of having a COFFEE Beans booth where we share the first phase of the project and KICK OFF the second phase.  Also, I’m hoping some COFFEE talent will be up on Simon Estes stage…….spreading our COFFEE LUV!!


blj said...

Wait, you skipped a step somewhere. How the &*%* are you going to get Jon Bon Jovi to HPE 2011? Who's your connection?!?!? How's this going to work? Tell me more! And I think I commented on the rest of it over drinks last night. Thanks for that, by the way, it was long overdue and good to reconnect. later, chica.

amy said...

Well, first of all, Holly, those jeans are b*tchin'. (After my new comments to Katie this morning, this makes it the 7th time today I've overused that word. But it had to be done, and I may have to use it again somewhere in this comment.)

And second, what the poop?! (heh)on the plumbing stuff. For that much money, I think you should find those plumbers and have them extract that cable barehanded. If it's already been extracted, then it should be gifted to them--unwashed--to be hung in their living rooms, with a reminder sign about careful workmanship under it.

And then, regarding HPE 11: Woo to the hoo! This sounds incredibly exciting, and happy, and fun! Bon Jovi (+Skid Row) was my first ever concert experience, at the tender age of 15 (I think I was 15, at least...it's all a blur now). And I also don't think it's a coincidence at all that just the other day I was watching a documentary Bon Jovi made about the hard life of a hard rocker. I think that's a sign this is just meant to be.

And there's to be a COFFEE booth? About this project? I am SO going to check my May calendar to see if I can be free around Friday the 13th in May, and then I'm going to consult with my financial consultant (Charles, who knows how to do things like balance a checkbook and pay bills on time) to see if we have the monetary means for me to be at this HPE 11 so I can help man the COFFEE booth. And then if we do, I'm going to have to find my inner Cool Chick, so I don't act like a blubbery mess around the greatness that is Jovi.

In conclusion, I would like to say that sometimes the Universe is a b*tch, and sometimes it's just b*tchin'. And that's a good love punch balance. Rock on, sister Holly.

T-Free said...

"Trust your gut, friends."

Ain't THAT the truth, sister? I think I made that statement my New Year's Resolution for ten years straight. Trust it! We are wiser and much more intuitive than we often give ourselves credit for being.

Okay... those jeans are so cool. LOVE. And you got Bon Jovi to play? Wow. I love how this blog started off with some seriously bummer news about your plumbing and technological mishaps, and then you turned it around and got all positive by the end of it anyhow. That's the spirit!

You've inspired me to stay positive, and I really needed that today, the day before my major surgery, so thank you sincerely, Holly. You're truly awesome and appreciated. :) xoxo.

patresa said...

can you believe it? how could jon bon say NO? he simply could not!

so excited! look at you goooooooooooo!

Tanner May (Tanya) said...

Where to start??? Okay, I HAVE to start by saying those denim jeans are AHH-mazing! And Holly, I know my denim. I live and breathe it, and I do know what is good. Those are fantastically good. Nice going ~ basically consider those Hollypremium Denim. Totally.

Okay, so the plumbing issues. SUCK IT PLUMBING ISSUES. AND!!!! ALL THE REST!!! I vote to keep dissociating it for now. It is not worth the math.

Now, HPE 2011 and Bon Jovi! I vote YES! I would love to come!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (fyi, this may be my comment with the most exclamation points....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Steph said...

Okay, Holly... this may not be the most intelligent reply I've ever posted (partly because this is the 3rd time I've had to type it and also because I'm STILL drooling a little!).
BON JOVI! Yes, yes, YEEEEEES! (I just channeled Meg Ryan in When Harry Met Sally.) P.S. He's MINE, Holly COFFEE. ALL MINE! Mwahahahahahahahaha!!!! Kudos on getting this up & running so quickly! I can't wait to be there! It's on my calendar already... CANNOT WAIT! Giddy up! HPE 2011, look out! And count Jon & I in for a shift or two at the COFFEE booth, as well. I'm sure he won't mind helping! As for COFFEE talent on the stage, the only way I'm going up there is if he asks me to. Then, of course, I'm all over it! I'm sure he'll ask... :)

I'm sorry about the poop you're dealing with... Stupid plumbers, van damage, & connectivity death, OH MY! Talk about an Axis of Evil! WHEW! I'm going to totally support you in dissociating on this one! TOTALLY. In the meantime, I'll be praying you don't get arrested for beating the crap out of said plumber with all that pipe snake they left in your pipes... AAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHH!
You know, Holly, the Universe has handed you some serious stuff the last few years, but you seem to be rolling with it. You really do. I like how you're honest about all that "stuff" and how you don't try to make it pretty or less than it is. I also like how you handle it, without whining or excuse-making or denial. I respect the heck out of you, and I'm so looking forward to hanging out with you in April and again in May! SHWEET! Much COFFEE LOVE & admiration, girl!

Holly said...

What a crazy, crazy week COFFEE Mates! First of all, to be clear...TECHNICALLY, JBJ is not CONFIRMED...YET! I will be working this weekend on the proposal to get him Happy Festival Extravaganza!! I do have TWO connections that give me hope. I'm KEEPING THE FAITH and maybe LIVIN ON A PRAYER that he'll partake in some way, shape, or form! Ohterwise, I may just have to be a little RUNAWAY!
NEXT BIG NEWS!! Simon Estes outdoor ampitheatre is BOOKED for 12 hours on Friday the 13th of May! These are cool digs on the river in downtown des moines! Woot woot!
Next...I LOVE that ya'll like my jeans so much! Best part is that I got them at my favorite local thrift shop for a song:) It's pretty hilarious that the picture of my jeans received more comments than my pic taken 24 years ago! Hahaha!
As many COFFEE mates as can make it have to make it! This wouldn't have been possible without COFFEE and COFFEE mates! If you're having financial trouble, maybe we can try and pool some frequent flyer miles from people. Also, if ya'll come for the BonJovi show on the 12th, HPE 2011 on the 13th, that leaves the weekend to bond, maybe do our picture poster prayer boards, a labyrinth, sweat lodge, stuff like that. OR, drink wine.
Steph....I'm sorry to tell you...It's me JBJ is going to sing to....on stage. However, since we seem to be a bit soul sistas this year, I might let you come up on stage too. No, maybe working the COFFEE booth together would be good!
Has anyone gotten a hold of Oprah yet, btw??? We've got to get this book and movie deal started! My comment got erased last time I wrote about this...but, Meg Ryan is SO playing me (since Audry Hepburn is dead). I love that you referenced her!!
Peace out COFFEE MATES! Mwa mwa!!

Katie said...

HollyHollyHolly!!!! And again! HollyHollyHolly!!! This is SO exciting!! You're literally turning sewer crap into GOLD, pure GOLD!!! And fie, FIE on the careless dumbass who left all that pipe in your pipes.

Frikkin Jon Bon Jovi, man. I heard Wanted Dead or Alive this morning and, if I do say so myself, I do my best work while in my car on my way to work. I belted it out with feeling, fist in the air. Jon would have been proud, and may possibly have asked me to perform back up at the HPE. It would be quite the show.

And the jeans are awesome. Love the lace. LLLUUUUURRRRRVVVVVEEEE them!!!


Holly said...

Katie, I love the thought of turning crap into gold! It goes right along with all of the other juxtapositions and metaphors occurring! Let's Get Happy Fest on Friday the 13th, the Owls, Winter Solstice,Holly Golightly, etc....
And, I think that you were singing Bon Jovi in the car JUST THIS MORNING, is yet another positive sign that maybe he'll come to Happy Fest. And, that you'll have to be here too!!

Steph said...

Um... Holly, I've thought this over, and I'm sorry. HPE might be YOUR event, but Jon-Boy is MINE. It's non-negotiable. Okay, now that I've spoken my mind, I feel better. Have a nice day! :) I'll make sure you get to meet him, btw...

Holly said...

Steph, Steph, Steph.....after much thought and deliberation, I've decided that there is only one way I will allow you on the stage when JBJ sings Drift Away for me...or all the other songs....I need you to spend some time channeling JBJ by constantly listening to BJ for the next few days...both old and new stuff...then I'm going to need you to provide in-depth review and suggestions, maybe even full-fledged collaboration, on the "Bon Jovi" proposal that I'm working on. Especially the lyrical montage proposal wherein I pitch our case throwing in BJ lyrics throughout. E.g.,"if you don't come, I'll be a little Runaway" (don't worry-there's better one's than that).
So, Ms. Stephany! Whattaya say? Wanna join forces?????

Steph said...

Okay, now I get it. I say...... I'm IN. I just pulled the old CDs out and will load what's not in itunes already into itunes... will be visualizing him singing to both of us!
As for the proposal, I'll be thinking about that one, too, and if I come up with anything brilliant, I'll pass it along. Otherwise, I'll wait for you to provide something for me to review!
Oh, how I love me some JBJ... LOVE me some JBJ!