:: WHY WE BE ::

Boo to false, self-imposed limits, we say. These champion oracles want to live enthusiastically. Follow our trip through projects that challenge, frustrate, and/or scare us. In the end (which is really the middle) we want to live like big bright free and authentically awesome people.

Thursday, March 31, 2011

Just a drop of rain (Angie)

Over the past few weeks in San Francisco, two things have been happening - it's been dumping rain, and I have been planning my wedding. Both of these things (praise the lord) are nearly done. The rain is going away, and my wedding is coming right up, on Saturday April 2.

While my fellow San Franciscans are cognizant of the unyielding rain, I am pretty sure most of them aren't following my wedding planning the way they are following the weather.

Myself, I think there is a nifty sort of meteorological circularity happening here. The last time we had this kind of epic spring rain in San Francisco was 5 years ago, and I was leaving my ex-husband and striking out into the soggy world to re-build my life. It seemed at the time that the whole universe was an echo of my weeping soul. Every drop of rain was a tiny piece of my oceanic sadness splattering on the window, on the ground, and on the roof.

In April of 2006, as I prepared to move out of the house (and life) I knew, I braced myself for a long day of trial by rain. My sister and I were only relocating a small number of my belongings, but it was going to be a challenge to keep them from getting completely soaked. Moving day dawned gloomy and grey, but then, amazingly, as we began hauling stuff from house to car, the clouds parted, the sun shone through, and the day turned picture perfect. We drove to my new apartment with car windows down and radio blaring, as the huddled masses of San Francisco emerged from their homes to crowd the sidewalks and parks, blinking in the sun and downing celebratory cocktails. That was the single sunny day we'd had in weeks, and the next day the clouds closed back in and the downpour resumed for weeks yet again. I will forever remember that one beautiful day as my own personal thumbs-up from the universe. A little moving-on miracle that happened at a much-needed time.

Now, the rain doesn't bring forth any thoughts of sadness. I do hope that it will be over with soon (yesterday would be nice), and I am profoundly tired of umbrellas, galoshes, wet jeans and giant puddles. But the rain is also cozy. In fact, as I lay in bed drifting off to sleep the other night, I listened to to the rain coming down and felt deeply content. I was grateful for my warm, dry bed, and especially for my soon-to-be husband Aaron snoozing next to me. Aaron tucked his feet under mine, and it seemed that the whole world was exactly as it should be. Every drop of rain was a tiny piece of grace splattering on the window, on the ground, and on the roof.


patresa said...

well, then, i say Hooray for the rain! (and how crazy is that to get one sunny reprieve on moving day? awesome.)

SATURDAY! that's TWO DAYS. woah, doggie. exciting! rain or shine, it sounds like you already got your thumbs up. have fun! and post pics!

great post, angie.

njenna said...

Congratulations, Angie on your exciting day ahead! Your post brought some "raindrops" to my face, but like you, they were happy ones. Your words were lovely...thanks for sharing.

Anonymous said...

Love the title, Angie...and the "moving-on miracle" line! Thanks for sharing and have a wonderful time tomorrow, rain or shine! -Martha L

Wendy said...

Beautiful. They say rain on your wedding day is actually good luck, but I think you've struck a much deeper theme. Sometimes you gotta wade thru the mud to find the greenest pasture, for sure. So happy for you, Angie! I hope your wedding day is pure bliss and unadulterated celebration!

Steph said...

Ah... cleansing rain with a gracious and much-deserved reprieve... I. LOVE. THIS. Good for you! Rain or shine, many blessings and well wishes on your wonderful day tomorrow! CONGRATULATIONS!
I think everyone's said it well already, but I guess I gotta say it, too. Sometimes you have to have the rain so you can appreciate the heat & shining sun. You just do. (Dangit!)
Awesome post, Angie... GLAD you're here!

Katie said...

Hi Angie!! I love this so much. This was such a calm and graceful post. I could feel your contentment as you listened in your snuggie bed with your fiancee next to you. Very nice.

Also, congrats on the wedding bliss TOMORROW!!!! Woo!!! And, on my wedding day in June there were hurricane force winds, torrential rains, chairs flying about willy-nilly, tent poles breaking, BUT s the hour approached, the skies parted and for the the 7 hours of the ceremony and reception, it was blue skies and an amazing sunset. And like a fairy tale, at the stroke of midnight, the clouds swept back in and chased everyone home with a summer shower.

It's hard not to feel like someone, somewhere, is giving you a huge thumbs-up on your choices when things like that happen. Independent confirmation is always a nice thing :)

Have a great time tomorrow, dance your socks off, have wine and twirl so your skirt billows out. I wish you much joy on your day.

blj said...

Angie, what a beautfiul post! I love that you got a big thumbs up from the universe. Happy Happy Day tomorrow! Here's a thumbs up from me, too. Have fun!

amy said...

Angie, this post made me feel just like I do on a rainy Saturday afternoon, when I'm inside all safe and cozy, with a good book and/or good stuff on HGTV to watch. You're a great writer. :-)

I'd also like to note that I note the weather for signs from the Universe too--I think it's significant, and one way the Powers that Be like to do Their message sending. I'm convinced they were giving you a big high five on that moving day.

And congratulations on your wedding! Many, many years of happiness and blessings to you and Aaron!

Tanner May (Tanya) said...

This is a really wonderful post, Angie. I like the contentment that rain brought to you, and I'm so happy about all of your Happy.

Great post all the way around!

John said...

You are married now, and I am glad for you! Hooray for happiness! Many years of wedded bliss to you both.