:: WHY WE BE ::

Boo to false, self-imposed limits, we say. These champion oracles want to live enthusiastically. Follow our trip through projects that challenge, frustrate, and/or scare us. In the end (which is really the middle) we want to live like big bright free and authentically awesome people.

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Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Whatever It Is (Tanya)

What has been on my mind as of late is good ol’ fashioned love and new age appreciation for L O V E. I’ve been thinking a great deal about all the loved ones in this vast universe who I cherish dearly so I thought I would look up what exactly it (“love”) means.

Who better to tell us about love than children, right?! So….. I went digging and found some groovy quotes from kids between the ages of four and eight. I think they are spot on.

"Love is that first feeling you feel before all the bad stuff gets in the way."
"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn’t bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That’s love."
"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You know that your name is safe in their mouth."
"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other."
"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your french fries without making them give you any of theirs."
"Love is when someone hurts you. And you get so mad but you don’t yell at them because you know it would hurt their feelings."
"Love is what makes you smile when you’re tired."
"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK."
"Love is what’s in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen."
"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate."
"When you tell someone something bad about yourself and you’re scared they won’t love you anymore. But then you get surprised because not only do they still love you, they love you even more."
"There are two kinds of love: Our love and God’s love. But God makes both kinds of them."
"God could have said magic words to make the nails fall off the cross, but He didn’t. That’s love."
"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it every day."
"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well."
"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn’t scared anymore."
"My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don’t see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night."
"Love is when mommy gives daddy the best piece of chicken."
"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day."
"I let my big sister pick on me because my Mom says she only picks on me because she loves me. So I pick on my baby sister because I love her."
"Love cards like Valentine’s cards say stuff on them that we’d like to say ourselves, but we wouldn’t be caught dead saying."
"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you"
"You really shouldn’t say ‘I love you’ unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget."

I also read that the definition of love is “a strong positive emotion of regard and affection.” So if this is the case, man, I love tonssssssssssssss of people and of course a “few” canine beauties (who are basically people anyway). I don’t really have that stellar of any type of memory, but I’m sure glad my dogs don’t either (which according to some glorious child, keeps me in their good graces). But, seriously, I don’t just go throwing around that expression all willy-nilly. When I really think about L O V E, it really is the stuff like giving up the best piece of greasy fried chicken or the last fun size snickers, or drawing a heart with that special someone's initials in the dirt. It’s that feeling that can make your guts go absolutely wild. Zac Brown sings about it....."cause every time I try and tell her how I feel it comes out 'I love you.' You got whatever it is....." I like sentiments like this, and I've been thinking just what a gift it is to have that amazing and all encompassing expression in our lives and what loss it can bring when it goes awry. I have been thinking, well wondering, what do you really do with all of that, all of it?? One conclusive thing I landed on is that you can (I can) keep it all close to the heart, the good, the bad, and the gut wrenching. Being mindfully accepting of all that love brings is expressively cool and muddy warm no matter how you shake it. {...And knowing how to keep it close to your heart, very silently precious sometimes, even when someone else doesn't any longer...}

So when I look at the goals of my life, I think about how I can be better, more forward reaching and present minded with love too. I know I want to be a more humbled person; I want to smile and smell the roses and moth balls; I want to be earnest and giving; and I want to take life in stride. I know I wish to be a good influence on others, thus being one on of myself, and I wish to be the kind of person who takes everything seriously but nothing too intensely personal. I want to listen to the world and learn something new and remarkable every day, and I want to be open to new possibilities even when I hit a dead end. I want to make somebody’s day everyday. I think just maybe I’m making some headway on these goals. I also know very transparently that I’m not making these strides alone and definitely not in record speed. Perhaps, the other more conclusive implication is that love is also about a whole lotta growth. I like these more murky lines of thought so I think I’m going to dote on this for awhile……. And just maybe I will instead start saying things like “I love you with all of my guts.”

Tanya H.


amy said...

Tanya H.! These quotes from children made me teary-eyed and smiley. I feel loved. (My personal favorite: "During my piano recital, I was on a stage and scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn’t scared anymore.")

Well, just so's you know you're on the right track with your life goals: I always feel loved whenever I interact with you, and you've made my day several times since we've met.

I think you get 2 big thumbs up from me on your progress, friend. I love ya! :-)

Katie said...

Hi Tanya! What a great and fun post this is. Love is so funny. It's so personal, and so global. It means something different to everyone, but means all the good things to anyone. It's necessary and scary and beautiful and wrenching and perfect and soft all at the same time. I love the quotes by kids, they have the best insights. They remind me of one of my favorite artists, StoryPeople by Brian Andreas. This is one of his quotes:

This is a creature on fire with love, but it's still scary since most people think love only looks like one thing, instead of the whole world.

Great post!!!

Wendy said...

Aw Tangy, this was so sweet. And those quotes are precious.
I think you are, what I imagine when people refer to as "the salt" of the earth. As in, you seem to have this big open heart that just kind of radiates affection. I think that if I got the chance to be around you in person more (I believe we only met the one time at P's wedding, no?), that you are the type of person people just gravitate towards. I think that's the embodiment of love, too. You seem to soak it in and shine it out like the moon when everything else is dark.
Good thoughts, sister.

Angie said...

Tanya, I kid you not, I am using some of those quotes from kids in my wedding vows. You just saved me from having to think of far less awesome ways to tell my fiance how much I love him. Thank you for posting this!

patresa said...

i love you with all of my guts. i think that's just perfect! kids are such wise little goofy buddhas. bless their buttons. i especially liked the one about going out and smelling each other. i like that one because it's funny. i like the one about learning to love better by starting with somebody you hate, because it's painfully wise (and so fricking hard).

living like we are walking talking love vessels is a worthy mission. only good can come of that, right? i think you're right on track, tangy t.

T-Free said...

Awwwww. The kid quotes on love were adorable and honest. Sometimes the things that come out of my son's mouth are so accidentally profound they blow me away.

Example: "I'm perfect because I make mistakes." He said that to me when he was 3, and got frustrated while trying to do something. I was explaining that nobody is perfect, so we should never be too hard on ourselves, and just keep trying to do better, and he said that to me. I was like, "Whoa. I need that framed and up on a wall or something as a reminder for myself!" Haha.

I LOVED reading this post. You rock, T-Bop, you lovely, smart lady, you really do. :) xoxoxo.