:: WHY WE BE ::

Boo to false, self-imposed limits, we say. These champion oracles want to live enthusiastically. Follow our trip through projects that challenge, frustrate, and/or scare us. In the end (which is really the middle) we want to live like big bright free and authentically awesome people.

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Squirrel! (Jenna)

I seem to have many random thoughts running through my head at all times. Some are quite trivial and others can give me a headache if I muddle in them too long. I think with all of the details and stress in my life I just am having trouble keeping it together. Within one minute I’m focused on how I’m going to properly teach the carbon cycle to 13 year olds, to what color I should paint my house, to then the pros and cons of organized religion. I guess this is why I teach middle school, as I too have a short attention span!

Lately, I’ve been a bit obsessed with my new fitness & eating routine. Four weeks down and 12 more to go. I spend so much time planning out, cooking and eating all these meals as well as writing up and executing fitness routines, that I nearly have run out of other topics to discuss with others. I feel like I’m a new mother with pooping updates (although the poop might be more entertaining). Plus, now in social situations I’m “special”. I have things I’m not eating and I’m still on the wagon. I hate going to a party when one friend offers me something like brie on French bread and then another friend says, “Remember? She’s not eating/drinking that.” Now I’m THAT person. I’m the annoying, “no thank you, with a smile” person. In fact, I went to my favorite pub and asked the bartender for water. Then he came around with a cheese platter and I turned him down. Looking completely perplexed he said, “What IS wrong with you? Are you OK?” Clearly my actions are quite radical to my past. The good news is that I have lost nearly 10 pounds, I’ve signed up for the half-marathon in May, feel better in my clothes and am feeling stronger and lifting more during my weight workouts.

I love documentaries. I talk about documentaries as others talk about good fiction books. In fact, I feel I have no time for reading fiction when there are so many great documentaries to watch. I watched one this weekend (The Rape of Europa) on all of the artwork that Hitler stole from various people, where he hid it and how his anti-Semitic behaviors all started when he wasn’t accepted into art school. I watched another about religious cults in the US (Join Us). Whoa. I’m telling you, it’s a slippery slope out there, kids.
And how about those Jayhawks? Finally I get a tournament game in the afternoon on my TV and they lose. Yeah, my “madness” is over. I can’t tell you one team that’s made it into the Final Four and I don’t care to find out.

I like to use a lot of quotation marks in my writing…along with three periods.

I miss my ex-boyfriend Till. I know it’s been over a year now since we broke up but it still sucks. Even though it didn’t work out, I believe in love in first sight because of him. He’s a good egg.

I am perplexed as to why certain people want to be my friend on Facebook? Do you know what I'm talking about? I know I'm not alone here. This person didn’t care about me in 1990 when I might have seen them in person, we haven’t spoken since and now we have nothing in common. I don’t get it.

There are so many daffodils growing around here that it's ridiculous. I'm going to miss those next year.

Why does it seem that when I’m getting ready to sell some of my stuff it all starts breaking? This week alone my watch, DVD player and car have all stopped working for no apparent reason.

Hang in there, COFFEE drinkers. It seems it's been a stressful time for us all.


patresa said...

i like the random, jenna! full life, full brain.

and i can sympathize with becoming the "special" friend who can only talk about 1 or 2 topics. when there is a big goal on the table, you kind of have to get obsessed with it. some goals just can't be realized if you have too many tracks going.

i absolutely know what you mean about "why does this person want to be my friend on facebook?" yes. facebook is weird like that.

till. cool name, sad loss. *sigh*

maybe your stuff is like a gaggle of sullen children protesting the move. like the brady bunch who tried to make the house look haunted when mike and carol were trying to sell it.

oh dear.

Wendy said...

Jenna, I love documentaries, too. Where do you find your store of documentaries, praytell?
Congrats on your fitness/nutrition success! Impressive!

Steph said...

A high five and a monstrous hug, Nellie... I'm proud of you for taking the healthy monster by the horns! I know you're gonna ride it - 8 whole seconds and beyond. (Yes, I realize the rodeo reference qualifies me as a hick. You know where I'm from and who I come from, though, so I'm hopeful you'll forgive it! HA!) I know you will! You're made of good stuff, and whether you chase ten figurative squirrels or ten thousand in the coming days, it seems that you're focused on this one - and that's exactly what it takes! ATTAGIRL!
Maybe this isn't the appropriate format to say this, but I'm saying it anyway - because it's on my mind right at this moment. (And if I let the moment pass, the squirrels will run away with the thought - little crapheads!) I sincerely proud you're my friend. I really am. I always have been. You're a very, very good egg, and I think I knew that even as a grade- or middle-schooler. I'm really grateful that you started following COFFEE and then joined us. I respect what you say, and I love to get your take on things; your heart always comes through your words. Good stuff from a great person... There. I feel better.
Hang in there, friend. P said it best: "full life, full brain." Agreed. 100%.

Katie said...

Hi Jenna! Truthfully, my brain runs squirrelly circles around my plans for my day, laughing maniacally. I don't know how you COULDN'T be fighting off the rodent invasion with an impending move to an entirely new culture and country looming on the horizon. When big changes are coming for me, I feel like such a spaz, because I can't concentrate on anything long enough to pin it down.

Unfortunately for me, brie on french bread is usually the key to returning to my equilibrium, but it's probably healthier to focus on the workout angle, so....ahem. Good job there. And really, I don't find THOSE people (meaning the foodie/workout people) annoying at all, rather I'm impressed that they have a plan and are sticking to it. I'm the girl who caves every time! Weak, WEAK!

And, documentaries are great. GREAT! I love them too, though in equal measure to my (as husband calls all fiction) unicorn books. Documentaries are so useful and full of chewy nuggets of fact. Like the intellectual equivalent of an organic granola bar.

Chin up COFFEE mate!! Things will sort out into a natural order soon!

blj said...

Random thoughts by Jenna, love them! I also love the phrase "good egg" and documentaries and ellipses. Facebook is really quite odd, in many ways. This has been random response by Becky. Until next time...

amy said...

Jenna, I find this squirrel thinking you do delightful. Really, truly delightful. (Probably because I'm a squirrel thinker as well--really, the most genius of society probably are. I'm sure I once read Einstein say this: "Squirrel thinkers like me are the smartest.")

Do you happen to get the Documentary Channel? We do--and my husband, Charles, loves what they air, especially in the middle night. Sometimes, I'll be having a really weird dream, wake up, and find out oh yeah. Charles has the Documentary Channel about quadriplegics who buy run-down juke joints in the swamps of Mississippi.

Life does get weird and stressful at the most inconvenient and odd moments--I hope the blooming daffodils make it better (I would miss those too--I think daffodils are magical).

Tanner May (Tanya) said...

Jenna, I followed all of that with thoughts of "totally, yes, oh yeah..." (Yes, note the quotes and dot dot dots.)

I like a little randomness thinking. Good luck with everything jumping around in your brain, motivation and your life. :)